secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[33]

it was further along the tour, and the less contact I was getting from Demi, the more annoyed I was with her.

at first, I had angrily blamed myself (then her) for me coming on this tour in the first place - if not, I would've gone to Bora Bora with Demi and Naya as originally planned, spent time with them, and I wouldn't be feeling this way now. and if I hadn't come along, I wouldn't have being heckled, I would've gone to the circus with Maddie and Dallas, I wouldn't have to compromise time away from Maddie and Bea (who seemed to be having so much fun) and the only good thing was that I had the girls around.

even when they were busy, they made time and they always put things aside if I needed to talk to them. all of them had little things about them that I loved - like Dinah, who treated me like a little sister. although it was because she was missing her siblings too much, it was nice to at least feel wanted. Camila was always good for a hug and a cuddle and to fangirl with. Ally had a bright positive spirit and we always got excited together. Mani routinely taught me to be fierce and we often danced together. I could wake Lauren up and sit in silence with her for hours in the middle of the night.

now, I loved the girls more than ever. I never directly told them what was happening with Demi, yet they somehow seemed to know that she was slowly becoming a sore spot for me, so they found other things to talk about. we spent all our spare time before and after shows together, and we joked that I was already part of the group and the long lost sixth harmony.

but sometimes when we sat together and discussed things or we sang together, I felt like our voices blended together better than mine and Demi's ever did.

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as the opening notes of Countdown by Beyoncé filled the Fifth Harmony dressing room from Lauren's iPod, I plopped down onto the couch, laughter and shrieks filling the room. the girls and I were having a dance party after our show in Colorado. I watched as Mani started dancing with Dinah, and Camila chugged some water before joining in. Ally was bouncing around singing loudly, and Lauren was watching the girls from her position on the armchair. she was tired these few days, especially with the breakup she had with Luis recently. she hadn't been sleeping well and I had to stay with her in her bunk until she fell asleep a couple of times to make sure she wouldn't relapse.

"Lo," I called softly. she looked up at me, a tired smile gracing her features. I got up to sit next to her. "you okay?"

"I think I'm sick," she said quietly so the girls wouldn't hear. "I feel nauseous and I think my nose is kinda stuffed up."

I grabbed tissues from Dinah's purse and Lauren blew her nose. "I'll be fine," she said. "go have fun."

"you sure?"

"positive."

"okay," I said, getting up. "kick me if you need me."

she laughed.

"I'm serious," I said. "I'll be right here." I stood near Lauren's armchair, where she could reach out to grab me if she wanted.

"okay," Lauren said, snuggling into the armchair and closing her eyes.

Ally bounced over, yelling lyrics and grabbing my hand and dancing. I joined in, regardless of not knowing most of the song.

"damn I think I love that boy do anything for that boy!"

at the countdown, we yelled the numbers out loud, "FIVE... FOUR... THREE, TWO, ONE!"

the song ended and Camila pounced on the iPod, holding it up high and out of reach from a grasping Ally. "WHAT SONG?" she yelled.