secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[74]

please read the a/n at the end! there's something important I need to tell you guys about.

---

I slid the screen and typed out my password, then checked to see that Camila, Ally and Dinah's messages were all in the group chat, none of them relating to me. all of Lauren's texts had been private, to me.

Lauren: Lea
Lauren: Lea thank god
Lauren: I'm so sorry Lea I'm so so so sorry
Lauren: shit
Lauren: of course I forgive you
Lauren: fkin hell
Lauren: I'm going to call you is that okay
Lauren: call me back i love you so much

tears brimming in my eyes, I typed out a string of replies to the girl who'd run away with my heart, but come back to return it.

Lea: Lo
Lea: Lolo
Lea: I love you
Lauren: Lea oh my god
Lauren: can you skype? there's so much we need to talk out babe
Lea: yes omg
Lauren: I'll call you right now

I grabbed my laptop, tapped at the keyboard impatiently to wake it up and opened Skype. I watched as the little symbol signified that Lauren was online, then a call came in almost immediately.

the screen flashed to life as a lagged image of Lauren began to move. "hello? can you hear me?"

"Lolo," I breathed, tears quickly forming in my eyes. "Lolo." the name rolled off my tongue easily, like it'd always been there, just waiting for me to say it. it felt familiar, and right.

"Lea," Lauren's connection must've stabilized, because she was a lot easier to see now. "oh my god, Lea. are you okay? how are you?"

"I-I'm sorry," was all I could say as I watched her face etch with concern as soon as she realized that I wasn't in my room. I watched her hair fall past her shoulders and brush her cheek, and her searching eyes (grey today, the kind of grey when it stops raining and there's a moment of calm, simple grey in the sky before the sun comes out).

"it's okay," she responded almost instantly. "god, Lea, I was so worried."

"worried about what?"

"you! I was worried about you, you silly goose. I thought you hated me."

silly goose. that was probably the best thing I'd ever heard someone call me.

"why would I?" I asked, every hard feeling I once had against her regarding her secret with Camila dispersing. she was worried that I hated her. guilt washed over me as I imagined her spending her time concerned about me.

"I don't know," she said. "because of something that happened at Wango. because you stopped talking to us then. the girls have been worried too. we thought you hated us. we thought we offended you or something."

more guilt. "Laure-"

"please tell me if we did. because none of us knew what happened, and I think we'd rather be informed than just brush it under the carpet."

"Lauren," I said. the sentence I'd prepared in my mind to say was, "I'm fine. I promise. how have you guys been? how's tour?"

but instead, the sentence that came out of my mouth was, "are you and Camila together?"

mentally, I slapped myself. why couldn't I control my own mouth? now Lauren was going to be confused, or weirded out. or she might find out that I like her, which would be completely unacceptable if she was with Camila. damn it, Lea.

Lauren stared, baffled. I could see panic in her eyes, and the regret was almost suffocating. "no," she said. "we're not. is that why- did you-"

seeing as there was literally no way I could cover that one up, I resigned to a stoic expression. "yeah, I accidentally walked in on you guys in the dressing room."