✔broken compass (the sequel) • stray kids✔

49 📹

"Do you think we'll find them soon? When we get there?" I couldn't help but ask Jeongin. He insisted on carrying me, and wouldn't let anyone else do so since "he didn't trust them", he had said. He was joking, of course, but I had been wanting to thank him since that last conversation anyways. He was the only one that truly stood up for me back then, and overall had really been my support and comfort this entire time.

"I hope so? They're kind of the first ones I want to save. Is that selfish?" I shook my head, even though he probably couldn't even see it. "Same for me, so don't worry." Jeongin paused for a second, creating some distance between us and the rest. "Say, Y/N... I don't know if you heard, but about Felix..." A sad smile formed on my face. "Don't worry, I think I know... I feel horrible for thinking he was the villain all along." You could hear him stop breathing for a second. "But... how did you know?"

"You know those weird visions I had been getting?" Jeongin hummed. "Turns out they were flashbacks. The closer I got to the lab, the more memories started popping up. And Felix... he was present in most of them. It turned out that all of these years, he had been protecting me from his dad and all of the experiments. We were best friends, and I couldn't even remember him. In his eyes I just left him, twice. It was no wonder he didn't like me. Well, if he even remembered me at all, that is." Jeongin chuckled. "I'm pretty sure he did."

"You think?" Jeongin nodded. "Do you remember one of the first moments when you got to the bunker? One of the force fields got deactivated, and you had to get Felix to save Changbin. I was on coms at the time, navigating you and Felix towards Changbin." It took me a while, but I had finally remembered what he was talking about (ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᵗᵉⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵉˡᵉᵛᵉⁿ, ʳᵘⁿ). "Oh, yeah. He seriously seemed to hate me back then." Jeongin let out a chuckle. "I'm pretty sure it's the opposite."

He took a deep breath before explaining. "The entire day Felix had been looking at his hand. At first I couldn't figure it out, he didn't seem hurt or anything, but now I'm pretty sure I know why. It's because when you two were running to save Changbin, Felix held your hand. I think that was when he remembered you. At first he already seemed to dislike you, correct?" I nodded, not sure where he was going. "Well, after that, Felix changed. Maybe you didn't notice, but I did, I just couldn't place it yet."

"Right after that, Felix asked me to make the pact. To break you two up. He said he'd get Changbin to love him. That was when I knew it was getting weirder. Felix had never really shown interest in Changbin in that way. Sure, they were close, closer than anyone in the group, but Felix never seemed to think otherwise. I couldn't understand a single thing of what he was thinking, and yet I went along with it. Pretty stupid huh?" I smiled. "Maybe a little."

"It's just a theory, but I think Felix was trying to protect Changbin from you." Before I could protest, Jeongin continued. "Think about it. Surely Felix didn't exactly like women, that we knew, but for him to have such a strong reaction to you was too much. I think he was just afraid that you'd leave again, which is why he convinced himself to hate you, because then it would hurt less. So when he saw you and Changbin getting closer, probably the person he trusted most at the time, he didn't want him to get hurt."

No matter how much I hated it, it actually made sense. "He probably realized it too, that you didn't remember him, which is why he never said anything. But still, he thought it was better to hurt you than to be hurt, which is why he spent so much time trying to sabotage you. Only when you actually were about to leave him again on the rooftop, he finally realized that he didn't want to lose you again after all, which is why he became so desperate."

Tears were now flowing down my face. "I hurt him so much, and I didn't even know," I managed to get out. "Which is why you have to have a good talk with him once we get him back okay?" I hummed, wiping my tears away. We stayed quiet like that for a while, still slightly behind the rest to get some privacy. Chan had offered to 'take me over', thinking it might be to hard on Jeongin, but he refused. My eyes fell on Hyunjin, who was walking up front. He seemed so happy again, it was almost infectious. Without realizing, a smile formed on my face.

"Say, Y/N..." Jeongin started again. He must have noticed me staring too. "Yeah?" I asked him, already knowing what was going to come. I didn't want to admit it, but what was the point in keeping it a secret forever? It took some time, but I had realized it too already. The only hard part was the decision I had to make for myself.

"Are you going to admit your feelings to Hyunjin? Or will you go back to Changbin?"