Ackermans are known to be the strongest soldiers of humanity. They attract the admiration and envy of many. But at what cost? Its one thing to be bonded to an Ackerman, but it's a whole different story when that Ackerman is making your life a living...
Do you remember how we first met? How you punched and kicked and fought those big ugly bullies who picked on me because of my height?
Do you remember how you told them that they were cowards for picking on someone? They laughed at you. I was the slowest in class. The smallest. The weakest. You told me to stand up and fight for myself. And when I dropped my gaze to the ground, you pulled me up by the elbow with a confident grin. "You'll fight. And I'll fight them with you. Deal?" You told me.
And we did. We fought them. Clawed. Scratched. Stomped. We lost, of course. "They had more people. They were bigger. They were stronger." You rambled on as we laid on the dirty ground, all battered and bruised. But I didn't care. I laughed. Because suddenly, I wasn't alone at the bottom anymore.
But you made your way quickly to the top. You excelled. In all aspects. And I was proud. But at the same time, horrified. I was scared of being left behind again. So I did my best, tried to catch up to you as much as I can.
I ran. And ran. And ran. And just when I thought I caught up to you. When I thought I wasn't chasing behind you anymore and I could finally walk beside you. Someone was already there.
Do you remember how we first met him? That pale, thin boy in ragged loose clothing not fit for his size. Commander Erwin said that he is strong. And that he'll be a great asset to the regiment. Much like what he said when he brought you. He was very much like you when you arrived.
I was threatened. I was jealous. I was scared because I thought someone of your level has finally arrived. I wa scared he'll take my place beside you.
But do you know how they say birds of the same feather, flock together? Whoever said that is a fucking moron. Because the two of you clashed like oil and water. And I was relieved. I still get to be the one standing at your side. You didn't leave me behind.
Do you remember how he lost his friends? How he blamed us for their deaths? You tried to comfort me, saying it wasn't our fault. It wasn't anyone's. But all I felt was shame. I was so scared of you being stolen. Taken away from me. That I didn't think of it happening to someone else.
So I decided to share. Because I know how you are. You'll always be there for me. That's the kind of person you are. So I ignored how you took glances at him. Ignored how the two of you bantered every time you meet. Ignored how you singled each other out in a room full of people. I ignored being ignored because I know you'll always be my friend.
I remember how I found out how wrong I was.
Yesterday, at the celebration party, I came across Section Commander Hange as they were taking you back to your room. You were drunk. And based on the frown marring your face, I bet it was because of a black-haired scathing boy. I offered to take you back to your room instead to which Hange agreed.
Do you remember? How when I took you into my arms to carry you to your room, you groggily murmured his name. Because I do. You sounded annoyed. Frustrated. Irritated. But all I felt was disappointment. And anger. And unashamed jealousy.
That night, I found out. I wanted you more than just as a friend. I wanted it to be my name on your lips. I wanted to be the one in your dreams. I wanted to be the one beside you. But my pity let him slip pass me. I let him close to you. I let him stand beside you.
Did I make the right choice?
Are you happy?
You'll never get to read this letter though. Because I want to be with you. And if that meant locking my feelings away and staying as your friend, then I will. I do, however, hope that I'm still with you in the future and that you didn't leave me behind.
Sincerely,
Seth
Calloused fingers gently ran through the clumsy handwriting as Seth finished reading. A small, pained smile on his lips. He came across the old fading letter as he was getting ready for the big expedition to reclaim Wall Maria. Seth jumped as a loud knock was heard before the door opened without pause.
"Seth. Come on, let's go already. I'm bored." You groaned, leaning against the doorframe as you watched Seth quickly hide something in his pocket. You squinted your eyes in suspicion. "What was that?" You asked.
Seth shrugged innocently. "A love letter." He confidently replied with a smirk as you made an impressed face. "Who's the unlucky lady?" You asked teasingly, wagging your eyebrows at him with an excited grin as Seth rolled his eyes at you.
"Go bother someone else. Why isn't your Ackerman with you? Go bother him." Seth changed the subject while you groaned again. "He'll follow us soon. He's probably skimming through the journal of his ancestors." You explained as Seth raised a brow in confusion. "I'll explain on the way. Let's go already! I want to kick some titan butt."
Seth chuckled as he pushed you out of his room and started locking it. You stared at his back as muscles rippled under the thin cloth of his uniform. Was his back always this wide? You thought to yourself in amazement as Seth turned back to face you.
"What?" Seth asked, tilting his head to the side. A habit he did when he's curious about something. "You've grown so tall. I didn't notice because you were always walking beside me." You paused. "You've left me behind." You teased, faking a pout before chuckling.
The laughter got stuck in your throat as Seth smiled. The most beautiful, sincere, and genuine smile you've ever seen on his handsome face. "I'll never leave you behind, Y/N." He said brightly, putting his hands in his pocket as he clenched the old letter inside. "I'll always be beside you. Always."
Dear little me,
You made the right choice. She's happy. And so am I.
You did great kid. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Seth
A/N: Special chapter for our best boi. This is a Seth Love Zone. No haters allowed. Lmfao. ❤️ I missed you besties!
