Chapter 3: A Lifetime ago

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Great. Now I've planted the seed. Starkov. It would make for an automatic segue into explaining myself. Once he met Mother, everything would fall into place. My next task was to make sure I would be there when it happened. As reluctant as I was to tell the Darkling, I knew I would need to do it eventually. He may be distant, heartless, and even try to manipulate me, but I had to take that chance. He was the only one with a working knowledge of merzost and hence, my only ticket home - one-way, hopefully.


I hadn't left my new chambers. I don't think I was allowed. Nobody had told me so, but it was clear that no one was supposed to know of my existence. Genya, Zoya and the heartrender I now know as Ivan were the only ones who knew I was here. Genya would come to give me meals and make sure I was attended to. She even tried to befriend me. While I appreciated her efforts and her genuine concern... I knew she was a spy for the Darkling. I didn't know exactly when, but I wasn't going to take chances.


It seemed that the vortex did affect me. My body had been taking its sweet time recovering, mainly through sleep. This seemed to have Genya and Zoya's attention, apprehension even. Grisha were not supposed to be sick - the use of their power was meant to add to their life, not take. In all honesty, I was confused too. I had never felt worse after summoning.


This also seemed to affect the Darkling. He had come to visit a few times after our last... interaction. It became a routine. Around what I assumed was a little after noon, he would come to observe, I guess. At first, he would just watch me sleep. Kinda creepy, not gonna lie. What was going on inside his head? What was the point of observing me... inhaling and exhaling? It's not like he needed my tidal volume. In time he seemed to gain more courage... or maybe he was just more comfortable, I don't know.  But eventually, he would perch himself on the side of my bed and continue his one-way starring contest. I didn't understand why he took the time of the day to do this, but this was intriguing to me. Was I this much of a threat? Or... Saints. Was this him... caring?  Caring for his Grisha. The idea was so foreign to me. Of course, I was different being a summoner like him... but surely I couldn't be worth all this.


I decided the next time he came, I would try to read him.


Again, like clockwork, he was at my chambers. He settled himself at the side of the bed. I turned to him slightly, hoping I could get a visual of his face. He noticed my movement but still seemed to think I was sleeping.


Good.


The General didn't seem to harbour any hostility. He was not even projecting his signature coldness. Peeking at him, I could see his regard for me was still one of a curious nature. But there was something more there. My stomach flipped when I realised what. It was a look I was familiar with from Mother - but never from him. Not the tsar. He was concerned... worried... for me. I felt myself panicking again. This was not the Darkling I knew. He was unfeeling, demanding but fair, protective of his Grisha but not... not whatever the heck this was.


What happened next would play in my mind over and over.


Gently, the General took my hand. He squeezed it as if holding onto a lifeline. He then murmured two words. So simple yet so astonishing. It was quick and soft, almost inconceivable. I nearly missed it.

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