"Mother, where are you?"
Where was she? I thought she didn't have training today.
How strange.
"Mother?" I tried again.
Alas, there was no response.
But I found something.
Something concerning.
Dear Journal,
This is all too much for me.
Don't get me wrong - I love my new life at the Little Palace. A bed to sleep on - my own room! There is actual food on our table - herring, but I'd still take that over stale bread and half-eaten... doesn't matter.
It's just that it's so much pressure.
Oh, mother. I had no idea.
I became Grisha overnight - and I just had to be the mythical sun summoner of lore. Why couldn't I just be a cartographer? Countless Ravkans are relying on me - an orphan girl from Keramzin. It's too much. Ivan says I should be training every waking moment.
Son of a... never mind.
But how can I? Don't they see I breathe the same air as they do? Don't they see we bleed the same blood? The same sweat, same tears.
Don't they see I am human too?
I am no Saint.
I could feel my eyes brimming with unshed tears. If she wouldn't let them fall, I wouldn't.
And then there is the Darkling. I don't know what to make of him. I don't know whether to trust him.
Yes, he does have that effect on people.
He's surprisingly patient with me. Understanding. I know he is trying to help, but there is still pressure there. Especially now knowing I have... I have... Saints, it still gets me every time.
I feel like I have to catch up on centuries of experience. Even though I know how this future ends, how do I catch up? How can I be the partner to someone, and support someone with so much life experience? How can I understand his pain, his suffering? How can I lead a people I'm only beginning to understand? I'm still a child in the grand scheme of things. It's a very unique situation indeed.
And then there is Mal. A doomed first love that I will have to bury. A love I will have to put to rest. I can't bear it. I can't...
The rest of that was smudged. My heart clenched at that. Death was always inevitable. It will sting, Mother.
YOU ARE READING
The Summoners' Heir
FanfictionBorn to both light and shadows, I'm respected but feared. I have lived many centuries and served as a general under the Darkling and Mother's reign. In a desperate attempt to flee an ambush, I unknowingly used merzost. Little did I know that I had r...
