You were his princess, until a death tore you both apart. Loki wanted to be yours, but returning to the hideous realm of Asgard made you think differently. Why would he care? Someone you trusted with all your heart, someone you loved.
❕CONTAINS SMU...
Waking up in the morning was a bit difficult for Loki. What was the point really? He thought, why wake up? After all that nonsense.
He imagined you waking him up with a little kiss and inviting him to eat breakfast with you, a little nibble of bread, maybe some meat, and then read a book or two in the library. That got him up, got his feet onto the ground and got his legs moving to the bathroom.
Loki hadn't realised how much urine he had held in his body, and how much it hurt getting it all out from his bladder; not until he took four entire minutes to urinate. He was in his depressive episode again, questioning his existence.
He wondered why you hadn't knocked on the door, to come keep him company, to make him smile. He thought maybe you were just giving him some space. Hopefully, you'd come sooner or later.
An entire afternoon went by, and the prince found himself feeling alright by evening, although he started to question where you were. Were you safe? Had something happened to you? He hadn't even seen you at lunch, let alone know whether you ate or not.
Mother, he thought. She'd have an answer. Making his way to her study, Loki found himself thinking about who he was. The unnecessary thought of his truth sending him back into the twisted turmoils of his thoughts. His insecurities, his flaws, the way he was never enough and now understanding he was a frost giant made these thoughts even worse.
Loki thought again. You were a frost giant, you didn't seem very bothered when people thought of you as a frost giant, hell Loki even told his father that it didn't matter if you were a frost giant, so why should he being one matter?
He had talked to his father in the morning, a simple conversation, and declared himself a child of Frigga, not Odin. Friggason, as you would call it. On reaching the door, he knocked. "Mother," he called, "Can I ask you something?"
"Loki," The queen smiled from her desk, "Anything, my son."
"Have you seen Y/n? I haven't seen her all day."
"Oh yes, love. She went to Vanaheim." Frigga continued reading her document, something which bothered Loki. It was as if it meant that Frigga did not care about your being.
"Went back?" he blinked his eyes in confusion while looking at the ground, "Why?"
"Oh Loki," His mother sighed, "Don't worry, She didn't leave because of you, She left as Njord is about to pass."
"Oh dear," Frigga gasped softly. Loki turned his attention back to his mother.
"What is it, mother?" he asked.
"Loki, I need you to stay calm." Frigga took it all in her hands, to deliver Loki the news which he had already known, the news which made him confess to you. "Y/n is going to marry someone else."
"I know, mother," he said in a low voice, "Y/n told me a few weeks ago. She also said that doesn't want to marry anyone."
"You need to understand she loves you, Loki."
"If she loved me, why didn't she tell me?" He yelled. The prince felt his eyes sting, producing little drops of salty tears. "I've told her weeks before, that I've loved her, and I've reminded her of it constantly, because I do. I love her. More than myself. Why can't she just say it back?"
"Loki, again, it's not her decision, it's her fathers," Frigga tried to calm her son down.
"It's not fair! Everything in my life has been taken from me! From toys to friends and now, even her. And after last night, I've found out that you aren't even my mother! That my real parents were taken from me! Why? 'Why' is all that I ask for. Why am I here? To play the role of the person that has to suffer? Is that all I am? A point f-for what? Character development for others? I just want my princess, and now even she's being taken away from me-"
"Loki!" Frigga's eyes had widened as she stomped her foot on the polished tiles, "Don't you dare talk about yourself like that! You are Prince Loki Odinson of Asgard, and you are worth so much more than for character development. You are my son and you are smart and brilliant. Don't ever doubt yourself like that!"
"Can I- can I call myself Loki Friggason?" he asked shyly, afraid his mother would scold him for thinking about his father like that.
"What?" the queen asked. "Friggason? Why do you want to be called Friggason?"
"Well, um, since I'm neither yours nor father's biological child, and I, uh, want to be called by a last name which I feel most comfortable with. I- uh, feel you've been like, more of a parental figure than Odin ever has. So, uh, Friggason."
"Aww," Frigga held her son close in her arms, "Your father does try his best, you know, at being a father and a ruler. Even if he isn't the most supportive father, he still loves you."
"Sometimes it doesn't feel like it," Loki whispered. His thoughts circled back to you, desperately trying to find a way to stop himself from losing you. "Who's she marrying?"
"Njord's advisor, Hakir Fierdson," His mother replied solemnly.
"Hakir?" His mind raced into action. "Mother, I know that name. That's the name that Y/n always whispers when she has a nightmare about-"
Oh, shit. They shouldn't have said that. They should not have said that. But sadly, Frigga asked, "about?"
"About being... uh, raped," they shrugged their shoulders, internally fearing your reaction to them telling Frigga about your past.
"What?" the Queen gasped dramatically, for the author's convenience of course.
"She was raped, mother, on Vanaheim, after her mother died. And whenever she has those nightmares, she's always whispering words like 'stop' or 'please' or 'it hurts' and somewhere she throws in the name 'Hakir'. I think he raped her."
"Does Njord know?" Frigga asked, her brain concocting ideas and plans.
"Not to my knowledge," they answered.
"Come," she stood up, lifting her child with her, "We're going to Vanaheim."
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