The way I love you

3| Nightsky

"Mummy?", Leo asked with a small voice, rubbing his eyes because of the tears mixed up with his tiredness, in one hand holding a cuddling dog. He had a light sleep compared to the other two, always waking up when he heard something and to be fair, Sean and Lana weren't really paying attention to how loud they were actually yelling at each other. "Why are you screaming? I don't want you to fight.", He said with puffy red eyes, wincing since his body was exhausted and his mind overloaded with thoughts about their yelling. 

"I-I am sorry, baby. We're not fighting.", Lana managed to press out, still recovering from the shock of he hearing them. She knew exactly that they fucked up pretty badly. Fighting with each other was one thing, but making a child hear them was something that shouldn't happen. Not in this situation anyway. "Sorry for waking you up.", Lana said, having a short glance at Sean before picking Leo up into her arms. "Let's go back to bed.", she said, already on her way to lay him down again, when the boy flung his arms around her shoulder.

"You still love us, do you?", he asked quietly and was half asleep, when Lana put him down on his mattress, his words causing her to deeply inhale. That was a question he shouldn't even be thinking about. 

"Of course, my little prince. I will always love you…daddy and I just had a disagreement. Like you and Flynn have sometimes. That's normal, right?", She asked, trying to calm him down with the fact that Leo was involved in some fights sometimes. "It's just important that we're solving the problem and saying sorry.", she told him. 

"And are you going to say sorry?", Leo asked, looking at her eagerly with puffy red eyes. 

"Yes. Yes, I will do that.", Lana smiled, taking his hands in hers. "Now close your eyes again, okay? I will wait until you fall asleep…and Lola is here too.", she gently whispered, making Leo check on the pillow tent he had built for Lola, which she proudly called her home within his room. The little boy smiled slightly, leaning back again and pulling Lana's hand close to his chest, making sure she wouldn't leave straight away. 

"Have a good night, sweetheart. I love you.", the woman added for him to her, softly stroking over his forehead. 

"Love you too, mummy.", he whispered back, drifting off to sleep whilst Lana was softly humming a melody for him to call down. Something he requested more and more often since he enjoyed Lana's voice. 

Sean, in the meantime, got the pregnancy test he found, before waiting for Lana in their bedroom. He was staring at it like it would disappear when he left it out of sight. He didn't want to be disappointed but he kind of was. Not disappointed because of Lana, just disappointed because of the fact he had loved the idea of another kid running around. Especially with his girlfriend's features. 

Of course, it would have been chaotic during filming but… He had dreamed of living through the pregnancy with Lana, helping her in each step since it would have been the first time she would have experienced it. But now his vision was shuttered, not existing, not an option anymore. 

When Lana entered the room, she saw straight away that Sean was lost in his mind and thoughts and she could only imagine how he must feel. He had known about something that would have changed their world forever. Something that wasn't real. 

"I am sorry for yelling…", Lana said shyly, letting herself sink next to him on the edge of the bed. "And I am sorry if you… thought that I would be pregnant.", Lana said, swallowing since this topic was still hard to talk about for her, even with the three kids they had by their side for which she was so incredibly glad. 

"But let's face it… I am 45, Sean. The chance of actually getting pregnant is like… barely exciting.", she said, wiping away a tear that formed in her eyes. Her body shrunk together like she needed to hide, hide from everyone that judged her for waiting too long to think about kids.