The way I love you

21| Changing Mind

"Don't look at me like that. I need to pee on it.", Lana explained to Lola, who was sitting next to her on the bathroom floor. "I just never seen the tests made like this, okay? Must be like a special version they have with them in the ambulance.", Lana sighed, reading the instructions. 

Lola just looked annoyed at her and barked one time out of frustration. 

"Okay okay, yes! I am just pretending that I don't know how to use it. But… that's hard, Lola. I am afraid okay? Afraid that all my hope is just… thin air. I don't know what to feel.", she sighed, finally going to the toilet. 

"I can't pee when you look at me.", Lana argued. "Turn around.", she added, which made Lola turn since it was one of her known commands. 

When Lana finished her business, she put the two tests on the sink, whilst washing her hands. "We need to wait a few minutes.", she announced with a sigh, sitting down on the closed toilet. "What are we going to do, Lols? You really think there is a baby in there, Mh?", Lana smirked, cupping her dog's face with her hands and meeting her eyes instantly.

"I actually try not to get my hopes up…", she admitted, starting to play nervously with her fingers, breaking their eye contact and looking in some random corner, completely lost in her thoughts.

"I am 45…almost 46. There is no way. No way.", she said with a small sniff, alarming Lola to nudge her head against Lana's knee, wincing when she saw her owner sad. 

"It's alright. It's okay. I am fine… just a bit… overwhelming.", the black-haired woman confessed, petting Lola still lost in her thoughts, lost in a different universe. Far far away from everyone and everything until her dog gently licked over her hands. 

"Is it time?", She asked, as Lola would know. She really wouldn't like to share this moment with anyone else since Lola is the friend she needed right now. Someone who wasn't talking but still understood her inner fear. No, she wouldn't even want to have Sean here right now because in some situations she needed some time for herself, thinking through whatever her life will bring. 

"Let's have a look then, huh?", Lana chuckled, giving Lola a last kiss on her nose, before walking up to the two tests on the sink. 

Her eyes were closed when Lana took one last breath to find the guts to open them, literally facing her future. "There are two…", Lana said shocked and very quiet, completely caught by surprise. "Like. Two.", she repeated, getting the package out of the bin again to reassure that it was positive. She blinked a couple of times back and forth, trying to find evidence of some kind of mistake but there was nothing. 

Two lines. On both tests. More than clear and visible. "Lola…", Lana said with a shaking voice, grabbing for the bathtub behind her to hold herself on her feet. "Oh my God.", she breathed out, literally dropping to the ground since her shaking legs couldn't hold her upwards anymore. 

"Lola!", she cried out, almost yelling her name when tears started to run down her face. "It's positive.", she managed to get out between her desperate sobbing that sounded almost violently. "It's positive.", She said again, turning herself to sit normally on the bathroom floor, with her back leaned against the tub. 

"Thank you.", she cried out, not even knowing why and to who she was referring. "Thank you.", she whispered again, closing her eyes in adoration. "Thank you.", Lana repeated, gently placing both hands on her stomach, with Lola licking excitedly over her fingers. She couldn't help but laugh whilst still sobbing all over her beloved friend that was almost jumping in front of her with an uncontrolled wagging tail.

"Yeah. Yeah, Lols. You were right. You were right, Loli. There is a baby.", she laughed-cried again. "I'm pregnant.", Lana said out loud, feeling like screaming it from every rooftop but at the same time like protecting her little secret.