my best friends brother 2 || h.s ✔

chapter nineteen

Harry Styles
I let Gemma distract Lex while I went out to the shops for mom, I just had to her stuff for dinner. I also figured I would need to get condoms while I'm here as well.

I got what I needed that mom asked me to get, walking down the aisle of the condoms. I hate buying condoms, and because I have to use non-latex, I have to spend my time looking.

I look up at the shelves and find a small selection of non latex ones. I pick up a Durex gold box, that only had six, turning it around and reading.

Regular non-latex condoms, fit for comfort.

I roll my eyes at the size, putting the box back because it doesn't fit me, then picking up a box with the brand Skyn — I actually know this brand and I like their condoms, I've used them before.

Large non-latex condoms for intense feel.

I read around to see that there wasn't any latex in them which is good. The only bad thing is that it was expensive. I usually only pay like 6-7 dollars for bloody condoms, but these however were $15.

It's not that much more but more than usual but it's for Lex, and so she doesn't have an allergic reaction. But god it costs a lot, but I'd do anything to prevent her from a flare up. I huff and walk to the front counter, putting them all on there, then the condoms. I watched as she scanned the items, widening her eyes at the condoms but I just ignore it.

"That's just $30, please,"

I hold my card up with a smile, holding it above the thingy, scanning it.  She puts them in a bag and holds it out to me. "Thanks,"

"Have a good night," she smiles and I just nod.

"You too," I say before leaving. I drive back home, in silence but I didn't mind it. I just thought about Lex and I again, it's constant at this stage. She's just so addicting I can't help but think about her.

When I got home I gave mom everything, then going upstairs. I hear Lex and Gemma in her room so I take this opportunity to put the condoms in my drawer, Lex jumping onto my back, wrapping her arms and legs around me.

"Hi baby," she snickers, making me smile.

"Hey," I turn towards her, smiling. She pulls her head back and kisses me harshly making me kiss her back just as hard. When we pull away our lips smack, both of us smiling.

"You never told me how you lost your virginity," she says as we lay down, my arms wrapping around her as her head was on my collarbone. I stare at the ceiling, and sigh softly.

"Do I have to?" I whisper, turning to her and she nods so softly.

"Please?"

"I hate talking about other girls around you," I whine.

"Why?"

"Because...I know I hate it when you talk about other boys," I admit, I can get jealous at some points.

"Jealousy is a normal thing, and of course I get jealous, it's never easy to hear your boyfriend talking about all the other girls he's been with," she says.

"Fine," I sigh. "I was days away from being fifteen, and I was just messing around," I shrug.

"You were fourteen?" she widens her eyes.

"Yeah,"

"Explain it," she huffs.

"Why do you care so much?" I ask.

"You know about mine,"

"No I don't, all I know is Tristan is an asshole,"

"Well...can you please?"

I roll my eyes. "Her name was Anna, we were best friends at the time, kinda like you and Louis but she wasn't gay and neither was I. I was a day or two off being fifteen so I count it as fifteen, but I was fourteen. I kissed her, thinking the wrong thing but neither of us stopped it, and one thing lead to another and I wasn't a virgin,"

"Was she a virgin?"

"No, she was like, a year or two older than me, I don't remember," I shrug with one shoulder.

"Did she know you were a virgin?"

"I think so, I dunno. I hated it, I actually didn't like it?"

"Wait..you hated having sex with someone?"

"I regret doing it so young, I should've waited until I was like...almost sixteen,"

"See...being in year ten a virgin isn't so bad," she snickers. "Anyway. What happened to her?"

"I have no idea..she ghosted me after,"

"She just left you?"

"Yep, blocked me on everything you can think of, and because I had never actually been to her house I have no idea where she lived,"

I remember the day after I tried texting her that I was sorry for what happened, and that I hope she was okay and she never answered. I remember trying to message her on everything but I never heard from her again.

I was madly in love with her honestly, she was my first crush and I was so excited when we kissed, but I didn't want it to lead to that, I knew what it was and to be safe and all this but it was still so weird.

But I hate thinking about it, I haven't spoken to her or seen her in 5 years, I have no idea what she looks like now. "Are you okay?"

"Just thinking," I shrug. "I don't wanna hear about your first time, I have an idea of what happened," I whisper.

"Tristan's an asshole,"

I just nod, I hate that name so fucking much.

**

The day went on, boring like always but Lex and I just watched movies with each other, I was out of it, mostly thinking about Anna if I'm being honest now that she was brought up.

Even at dinner, I was just...out of it. I don't know, I hate her and I couldn't care less what happened to her, Lex is my girlfriend but she just wouldn't get out of my head.

I had to stop thinking of her because Lex was going to her suspicious. When we finished dinner, I had a shower and then she did, I wanted one separately and she didn't ask why.

And after, we just watched another movie but she fell asleep during it. She's such a cute sleeper, her face all squished up from being on my chest, her top was the only thing she was wearing as well.

I put my laptop away and cuddled her, playing with her hair. I couldn't believe that I was going to college soon, and I'd have to leave her here and we'd have to do a long distance relationship until the breaks we get.

It's gonna be so hard to see her when she has school work as well: I'm not ready for anything.

//
shorter chapter lol