Swapped ☹ Muke

23

YO DOES THIS SOUND READABLE??
Luke Hemmings was known around as the awkward boy with a crush on Michael Clifford -- the boy who originally came to school as a new student with with a happy aura and a big smile on his face until his world was turned upside down.

One afternoon Luke comes home to find a small box on his bed and in that box is a simple flashdrive. He'd thought it had no meaning until he plugged it into his laptop and the image loaded to reveal the face of Michael Clifford -- the boy who committed suicide a week ago.

❝ I hope you're ready to hear the story of my life, heh one direction, but more specifically why it ended. Let me tell you my dirty little secret, if you're watching this video, you're one of the thirteen reasons I'm dead. ❞

- This is loosely based of Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher -
:: Michael ::

"Oh -- um hey Mikey." He flushed red throwing something into the drawer though I caught a glimpse of the pale brown and had a feeling I knew what it was.

"What was that?" I asked standing on my tippy toes to look over his shoulder -- thank the gods for Luke having long legs.

"T-that oh, um it was a pair of underwear?" He said though it came out as more of a question in my opinion.

"If you ask me that looked like," I began dragging out the vowel before jumping on him and giggling as he hit the floor, not harshly because the floor was a mess of clothes.

He groaned clenching his eyes shut, "dude what the fuck?"

"Don't swear," I mocked hopping off of Ashton and walked towards the dresser.

I began walking towards the dresser with agonizingly slow strides, occasionally taking a moment to look at Ashton who was curled in a ball looking at me from the ground with wide eyes. He looked petrified every time I took another step.

I reached out to open the drawer, my fingers grasping the cold metal as I took a shaky breath as his hitched and I knew he was now holding his breath.

"Ash please tell me I'm seeing things."

"Ashton c'mon this isn't funny, tell me that's not my Daniel."

"A-ash." My eyes were welling with tears, I felt like my lungs were collapsing as I clutched what was left of Daniel close to my chest.

"I--wh--no. No." I sobbed breathlessly, meaning i was either on the verge of a panic attack or an rage but I couldn't decide which seemed more likely.

"Mikey calm down, please." Ashton begged as I sobbed into the remains of fluff that I'd once called Daniel, my body was vibrating as the sobs racked my body but all I could think was that everything was gone, over with.

The stuffed animal my father had given me, the day he died in my arms.

Yeah it had a lot of meaning to me, it reminded me of my perfect father -- the last day we'd spent with each other at the fair before his life ended.

"Come on Michael, let's go to the fair!" My dad said picking me up and tossing me over his shoulder and chuckling at my squeal.

"What about mama?" I asked as he began walking to the car still holding me over his shoulder.

"This is a boys day Mikey, just us two guys yeah?" I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

The ride to the fair was occupied by dad singing along to come as you are by Nirvana, him singing in perfect tune and me mumbling in attempt to sing perfect like him.

He was always singing, it was pretty inspiring to my eight year old self -- I wanted to be like him.

"What do you want to do first Mikey?" He asked looking at me with a twinkle in his eyes, an emotion I simply couldn't understand.

"Bumper cars?" He nodded as I clapped my hands together in excitement, barely waiting for him to come to a stop before unbuckling and climbing out of the car.

He smiled at me as I pulled his large hand into mine, my fingers barely able to wrap around three of his fingers. I dragged him alongside me as I skipped towards the ticket booth.

We got our tickets and I raced towards the bumper cars in excitement, they were always my favorite because it was so exciting how the wind blew in my unruly hair. I liked the way you got to yell at your competitors and laugh it off.

After the ride I was a giggling mess and my dad kept flashing me award winning smiles, it was the perfect father and son day. "What now Mikey boy?"

"Can you maybe win me a stuffed animal?" I whispered not wanting to be too childish though I simply loved to have something snuggled to my chest often. He nodded and walked towards a booth with balloons and darts.

He passed the man a dollar and he gave dad three darts, my dad winked at me and tossed the three, one at a time and made them pop the balloons.

"Oi what prize would you like sir?" The man asked as my dad smiled pointing at a small stuffed lion.

The man handed it to him who passed it to me with a smile, "a lion for my lion."

"Why do you call me a lion papa?" I asked snuggling the lion to my chest.

"Because Mikey you are a lion to me, you're strong and independent like one."

"But papa sometimes I fall and have mama give me a bandaid, that's not im-imed-independent."

He laughed and shook his head, "but you see Mikey you've survived so much for an eight year old and you don't always rely.on your mom. Some days she won't be around to help you, and I know you. You'll be a big boy and fix your booboos by yourself."

"Will you always be around to help me?" I asked as he looked down at me with a sad expression.

"I'm sorry little lion, but sometimes a lion needs to leave the pride." He whispered kneeling down and pulling me into a hug.

I didn't know that exact night he was going to shoot a hole in his head, grazing a critical vein. My mom wasn't home, and the bang didn't come from my video games so I was scared.

And when I walked into my dad's room with tears in my eyes I didn't expect to find my dad laying in the floor quietly singing lullaby by Nickelback as he winced in pain. My mind was mush and my vision was blurred but after a dozen tries I'd finally managed to call the ambulance.

They tried to keep me on the line but I needed to hold my dad, I didn't want to lose him as I clutched him closely to me.

"Dada don't die, p-please don't leave me." I cried.

His cheeks were stained with tears, my clothes stained with his blood.

"I love you l-little lion." He coughed and I knew I was loosing him, I wasn't ready yet.

I watched as his eyes began to slip shut and his jagged breathing steadied to nothing, the flickering colored lights flashed over his empty expression. Everything was a blur from then on, just a blur of crying and screaming for my dad who was being pulled away on a stretcher, people were yelling at me trying to calm me down but how was I supposed to be calm?

"A-Ash, what happened?" I whispered wiping away a few tears even though there were definitely more to come.

"Luke."

Then I realized nobody in this cruel world was faithful, no matter how much they put out, constantly telling you how amazing you are, how much they love you -- it means nothing. Because in the end they'll break you, just Luke did, just like my dad did.

And maybe I should give up on even trying to please people because I'll never be good enough for anybody, I never have been.

-
This chapter made me vv emotional.