Swapped ☹ Muke

25

I finally have an updating schedule so it's not all scattered (above or on the side)

I also posted a new story called Freaks and it's another one I'm really excited for and the blurby thingy is like right below ;)

One small accident changed four boys lives though none of them remember it, they don't remember each other, they don't remember themselves. Now they only know who they are as of today.
::
A boy who can read minds and never speak because he knows what people thing about him.

A boy with multiple personalities, eyes that change color, and the want to be perfect.

A nineteen year old boy who can't remember anything past the age of sixteen yet sees peoples futures.

And a boy who never sleeps because when he does there's another missing person on his tv.
::
❝You're telling me you guys basically have magical powers, talk about freaks.❞

❝Says the murderer.❞
(I think it'll be good but that's just my opinion.)

I also am about to fucking go off and like if you don't want to read about it you can just skip the bold, I don't mind if you read this or not.

Anywhore yesterday my mom went off and cried because I went off on her always choosing my sister over me, but yanno it gets annoying after so long and I decided to stand up for myself bc I got tired of it. Then my step-dad being the inconsiderate prick he is, yelled at me and slapped me in front of our whole. fucking. family.

Then today I decided to check my grades and my math teacher has put everything, I mean everything I've turned in (and I know for a fact did exactly what we were supposed to do) as a U. Then because I haven't slept in about forty-eight hours I was kinda hazy, so she calls on me and embarrassed me in front of the whole class going on about how I'm failing the class and don't deserve to be in there.

I fucking hate her so much, like she seriously doesn't understand shit about me and decides to continue to make my life hell when I'm not home? Does she not understand that hey maybe she can't sleep because the man that raped her is back in town and living under her roof? Does she not understand that some parent are drug addicts and alcoholics so occasionally a kid has to raise their siblings? Or how about the fact that I know I'm not good at math because I don't see numbers correctly, not to mention that I've told her I have anxiety and begged her not to always call me out when she can tell Im confused?

Then I've been having to help friend to friend because they're fighting over a stupid boy, this is high school and you're not likely to stick with him. But it is pretty shitty that one of them was in rehab and the other decided to date her ex. of two years. Good news is I've been under so much stress and shit that I've still been almost two months clean. (:

::
:: Michael ::

I yelled, I don't yell.

Im seeing red, it's scary.

I just want to go back to normal, because if I were myself I could die and make everybody happy.

Well maybe except Ashton, I wouldn't want to hurt him because I really like him. He gives nice cuddles and likes to make me happy, and the thing is I'm starting to question everything I think about him. And that scares me because just a few weeks ago I was head over heels in love with his best friend.

So why is it now that I simply want to kiss my best friend who's been supporting me through heartbreak yet I still wanted to have hope that my heartbreaker loved me?

Fuck everything.

See I hate it because I still feel something for Luke and I don't know I'm just kind of hoping he'll pull through and show me he's that sweet boy I liked before -- even if it was only a short period of time, it was the best time of my life. Though I've known him for so long, I've encountered how he's always treated me and I know he's not going to change.

Sure it makes me sad, but maybe that's the way it should be -- him against me, and me against the world.

Sitting here in the corner of a dark room with my eyes shut to keep the tears from falling freely I finally felt like maybe it was time to make a decision -- even if it's probably going to bite me in the ass later.

So I climbed to my feet holding on to the railing of his bed to keep from falling onto my face and took a shaky breath. "All I have to do is tell him I love him, tell him I love him and my pain will be gone."

I'm probably going to regret this soon was all that was going through my mind as I walked down the stairs.

Every time they creaked my mind screamed don't do it, you'll ruin everything you've built up.

Every time my sweaty hands let go of the railing my thoughts whispered, he could never love you after all the shit you've put him through.

My foot touched down on the main floor and I heard the soft chatter of the boys playing FIFA, Ashton sitting on the side probably scrolling through tumblr because he was basic as fuck. But my focus was on Luke, because I was terrified of him.

He'd literally just learned my whole life story and went on about it like it was nothing and I'm down here to talk to him after he basically ripped my heart out? Yeah let's see how this works out.

I stood still, leaning on the wall to keep from falling over because I was shaking so badly.

My mind was wandering to the cuddles, the sweet talk, the encouragement and I knew I needed to do this -- even though I felt like it was literally the worst thing I could ever do in this situation.

I cleared my throat and clenched my eyes shut, "guys?"

"Kitten hey!" Ashton called followed by Calum yelling, "hey homosexual bromie from another homie down in the hood." I looked at him with a confused expression as he laughed loudly.

Luke didn't even acknowledge me.

"I um, I wanted to say something." I murmured scratching the back of my neck awkwardly.

"HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME." Calum sang as Luke hit him with a pillow.

"Well I just wanted to tell you guys that I think I-I love somebody." I whispered.

"DRAMA." Calum yelled grabbing the bowl of popcorn and throwing a handful in his mouth before propping himself up on his fists and looking at me in amusement. "And this person is?"

"Um well," just say it Michael it's not that hard and get it over with.

"Ashton."