Swapped ☹ Muke

27

This chapter will alllllllll make sense at the end of the chapter. DONT LISTEN TO SAD SONGS DEAR GOD THE FEELS MAN.
:: Luke ::

I sat up quickly taking a moment to hold my chest as it felt like it was constricting. I bit my lip and clenched my eyes shut to try ignoring the pain. I knew what was happening -- it was another nightmare that led me close to having a panic attack.

I opened my eyes slowly allowing them to adjust to the darkness as I sleepily rubbed them.

My eyes divert towards the cold, empty side of the bed where Michael should be sleeping.

"Don't cry." I whispered averting my eyes to the window.

It's my fault Michael isn't sleeping next to me and I've hated myself every day since.

My lip quivered and I tensed up, I had no right to cry over this.

"Lukey I just want to die!" He screamed through the door, the sound of water filling the tub and him rummaging through the cabinets were thudding in my ears.

I grasped my bed sheets.

"Don't you fucking dare do it Michael!" I yelled slamming my fist against the door repeatedly, my phone was in my pocket but of course I was t thinking to call the ambulance. Hell I couldn't even see in front of me because of the tears clouding my vision.

"Let me die Luke! You told me yourself that you wanted me to die, so why won't you fucking let me!" He sobbed.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, please." I cried feeling the blood run down my knuckles, but I kept slamming my fist into the door.

Lifted my hand from the bed sheets and raised it in front of my face, there was the scar across my middle and pointed fingers where my knuckles had split.

"G-go away." He hiccuped, "I-I-I feel like, like, taking a nap."

"Don't Michael, goddamnit please don't close your eyes Michael." I screamed slamming my fist into the door one more time, his sobs were silent and the only sound was he running water and my own screams.

I brushed my fingers over my knuckles and watched as a tear dropped against the pale skin.

I took my phone out of my pocket and called the ambulance at supersonic speed, I made no sense as I yelled jibber is hat the operator. I just wanted my Mikey to be okay.

They ran in, swarmed me with questions but I was too busy watching them bust down the bathroom door. I sat watching them pull his limp body out of the room and racing past me. I sobbed into the lady's shoulder as she tried to comfort me.

"It-it's my fault." I cried.

"No it's not honey." She cooed.

"Yes it was." I whimper rubbing the tears from my eyes.

They were all yelling at me, they hated me. I knew they would hate me.

"Fucking Christ Luke, you're supposed to I don't know -- not tell your fucking boyfriend to kill himself!" Calum yelled with tears in his eyes.

I know that now Calum, god I was so fucking drunk though.

I dropped my head into my hands and let out a strangled sob.

"L-Luke he trusted you, w-why why would you do that to him." Ashton gasped between sobs.

I don't know Ashton, god I don't fucking know why.