Eliot Strange and the Prince of the People

9) In the Dark

I am asleep and dreaming of what, I don't know, though it feels like a dream of contentment, when Torin rolls over with much effort and faces me. He is asleep with his broken hand flung above his head and his good hand resting on my stomach. It landed so hard there that I know he must still be asleep.

I start to doze right back to sleep when the hand on my stomach seems to come alive. It begins with a small movement that feels like when you pet a small animal you are afraid of hurting. Stroking. Back and forth. Back and forth. In a rhythm, that is at first hypnotic and relaxing. I have somehow rolled out of my blanket and am acutely aware that I am completely naked, and I know that, no matter how innocent this was to start with, now I feel like a girl who was asking for it. You would think I would be embarrassed about that, but I am not. I'm a grown ass woman. And, besides, it is the end of the world, and times are desperate. Who knows if there will be a tomorrow?

I sound all convincing in my brain talk to myself, but I am lying still and stiff as a board for fear Torin will wake and believe he is with someone else.

The stroking stops and there is again heavy breathing about to become a snore. Just when I prepare to quit holding my breath and move from my frozen-in-place spot, Torin stirs again.

"No," he says to no one in particular and then, "Stop that."

I freeze and he quits talking. He goes back to sleep again and then there is the snore again.

I roll over as gently as I can so Torin is not snoring in my face and, as gracefully as I can, I position the blanket around me. Torin is now at my back.

I am almost asleep when Torin giggles and whispers, "There's my girl."

The next thing I know he is scrunched up to me, we are spooning. His scratchy beard brushes my neck ever so slightly.

Torin is breathing deeply and I try to match the rhythm. I am almost asleep when I sense a change in his position, and he says, "I need to tell you something important."

"Ok, Torin." I open my eyes and roll over to see him. It is so dark in here that I can only see the profile of his face, but I feel his breath on my own.

"Eliot, you are very important to me."

"And you're important to me, too."

"And, you have done a lot for me. I owe you so much."

Oh Lord, is he going to thank me again? I'm sleepy.

"Torin, I'm tired. We both need to get some sleep."

"Yes, you are right." He stops talking for a full minute but begins again. "I have something to say."

Here come the dang "thank-you's" again.

"I want to apologize."

"What? Why?"

"Eliot, you don't know me at all, and yet I think you like me. Thank you for that."

Geez, not thank you again.

"I need to quit thanking you, I guess. What I really want to say is - I am sorry."

"For what?"

"Eliot, I am a terrible person. I've been treating you like some lovesick teenager."

"Well, that is true," I agree. "But, I am a teenager, so, you are half right."

Torin shifts and rolls on to his back, making sure to place his broken hand on his chest.

"Only half right?"

Is he asking me if I love him? It would be easy to lie to his face or make a joke because it is so damn dark in here I can't see his reaction. But, I decide to lay it all out there. Tell the truth. "Well, maybe you are mostly all right."

Torin sighs a deep sigh and says, "Ok, then. Right. I love you too. And, I am sorry."

Love me? Sorry? "Why?" I ask.

"Because you are the most amazing girl I have ever met."

Ok, tell me more, but first, "No, why do you want to apologize?"

"There is so much about me you don't know."

"Like?"

"I have loved many women."

Ok, too much information, but he continues. "I treated them horribly. I am a cad. A liar. A.." He hesitates. "A playboy. What the press says about me is true."

I feel like this has turned into some kind of confession, and I am the priest here. I don't want to be the priest. "You don't have to tell me any of this, Torin, it doesn't matter. All that is gone now."

"Maybe, you are right," he says, "But I feel you need to know what you are getting into. I am no fairy tale prince. I don't even want to be king."

"You don't have to be."

Torin takes my hand and kisses it. "I am sorry, my lady, but I do. I do have to be king whether I want to be or not. I am sorry. I need to get home."

"Home?"

"England. My home, Eliot, I need to go."

"Go?"

"Yes, leave. Too many people have died already trying to keep me safe. I am not the spoiled brat of a prince I was 6 months ago. I have changed, Eliot. And so, I must go. For that, I am sorry."

Before I can ask if he is taking me, he says, "I'm sorry to be leaving you behind. I feel like my heart might break, but it must be done. I must go. They defeated our army. They are coming here next. None of us are safe. We all have to go."

"When?" I choke out.

"Soon," he says. "Maybe, tomorrow."