Eliot Strange and the Prince of the People

27) Wham Bam

In the movies, romance and making love are slow and languid and dreamy and hazy looking, like looking through sunglasses on a cloudy day or through sheer, white curtains as a breeze blows gently. There is the usual build up to the moment with the audience anticipating the deed. The culmination of passion finally sated is orchestrated and directed to perfection and leaves the viewers and the participants breathless with satisfaction. After, room service is ordered and the lovers lounge in bed, dipping strawberries in chocolate and sipping champagne.

It's ten minutes after we began my first time ever having sex, from hunting for the spaghetti until done. I'd like to say it was because of the passion, the heat, the-can't keep-our-hands-off-each-other vibe we share, but I'm not so sure.

Disappointed. I am disappointed. I wanted the wild, passionate love making all night experience, where my body is his temple, and I am his goddess. Instead, we are done. It is so fast that when it is over, I am not sure we were done.

This is it?

Awkward. There are so many things people don't tell you about. You don't see it in the movies either. I only want to mention one thing. The condom. It is not sexy at all going on and definitely not coming off. And let me add this, when Torin takes it off and looks for the trash to throw it away, we both can't look at each other. It is like the elephant in the room.

Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't prepared for this, wasn't ready.

Or maybe, I've read too many books and seen too many rom coms.

I don't think my prince Torin feels the same. He is dressed now and bouncing around here like he is king of the castle, cock of the walk. He is plating cold spaghetti.

"Sorry, my lady," he says.

"Sorry?"

"Yes, it has been awhile. Normally, things do not transpire so quickly. I promise we shall spend more time, next time." He shows me the box of condoms. "Nineteen more left."

Great, time to celebrate. Can't wait. Nineteen more. "How was I?" I ask because I really want to know, maybe I can improve, maybe this was me.

"You were lovely, my dear." Torin kisses my cheek.

I feel really emotional all of a sudden, like I might cry. I feel like confessing here myself. But, this is embarrassing.

Torin stops scooping the spaghetti. "What's wrong, my lady?"

"It was my first time," I say as I look away and then down.

Torin drops his fork, clears his throat. He looks at me, really looks at me. He places my chin in his good hand and tilts my head up and looks deep into my one good eye. "I'm really sorry then. I forget how young you are. I rushed things. I'm a fool. An insensitive fool. Are you?" He hesitates. "Ok?"

I nod. He puts the spaghetti on the table and pulls out a chair for me, places a paper plate of cold spaghetti in front of me, offers me a paper towel and a plastic fork. He is so sweet and attentive now that I'm feeling better.

"I just thought," he says.

"Thought what?"

"Nothing," he quickly says like he wants to change the subject. "Want a glass of something to drink? We have water and uh, water."

I feel myself getting embarrassed again. "Did you think I was more experienced?"

"Yes, even though you're young. You have a fiancé and all."

Ok, now I'm mad. "Patrick is not my fiancé. We kissed, ok, we kissed a lot and did other things that are none of your business, but we are not about to get married."

Torin doesn't say anything until he does:

"I am sorry about this. I'm a cad. A terrible person. I am certainly no Prince Charming. But, I promise you this. I will spend the rest of my life making sure that you know how special you are to me. From here on out, no wham bam, thank you ma'am. We will take it slow. Can you please forgive me?"

I'm not sure what I am forgiving him for, but I nod and he adds:

"We will take it very slow," he kisses me, again, and then pulls back to look into my eyes. "You have a real black eye there now, Missy," he observes. "We will take it slow." He kisses my neck. "Slow, very slow. Until, we don't."

And then, Torin takes my hand and leads me to the nearest bedroom. It happens to be my mom's bed, but I don't feel one bit weird about it.

We really should be going,

an hour passes,

and we really should be going,

another hour,

we really need to go,

only seventeen condoms left,

and now as it turns out,

lovemaking can be like the movies.

But, I am fairly sure, I'm going to be sore when this is all over.

Torin and I make a decision today. We make a decision to ignore the trauma and the horror around us, and just be. We act like the rest of the adults in our camp have been acting for weeks. We throw caution to the wind, we turn a blind eye to responsibilities and fear, we live a little while everything around us is dying. Because, what else can we do? The world ended, but we're still here. Who knows how long we have left? Let's live, we decide, for tomorrow holds no promises.

Irresponsible. We are irresponsible and erratic and reckless. It feels great. No worries. Just us.

But.

We have responsibilities and they are important to us both. My father, our friends, family need us. We have been sidetracked momentarily, actually for a couple of hours, but now - back to business.