RUTHLESS

15

"What you want to eat?" Dimitri asked.

"The same thing I always get."

Dimitri is someone that helped me mentally, after I offed H. He was there when I killed him and after too. Shit was hard at first but it became a blur after he started trainin me how to do body work. He showed how to numb it out and put that shit to the back burner. If emotions get in the way of work, you bound to fuck up.

"How Messiah doin?" He handed me my food. Chicken nuggets and fries.

"He doin good. Sometimes he'll ask bout you too."

"For real?" I nodded, remembering the first time I brought Dimitri around Ssiah.

"He can't say Dimitri so he'll say tri instead and be like, 'Ma, where's tri?'" It's honestly the cutest thing.

"Should we all go somewhere tomorrow since we have nothin much to do?"

"Where you wanna go?" He pulled up to my crib.

"It's don't matter. As long as it's kid friendly."

Gettin out, I unlocked the door and let him in. Kicking my shoes to the side I went to the living room and cut on the TV to whatever was playing. Some reruns of Icarly was on. Flipping down on the couch, I ate the rest of my food. Dimitri finished up his before me, so we were just relaxing.

"What's something you fear the most?" I asked Dimitri, laying my head on his chest.

"Hmm. I don't know. Haven't thought bout it." He sounded sleepy.

"Everyone fears something."

"Probably, dying alone. I don't care bout nothin else but that shit is something I think bout often." Dying alone. Thinking bout it, I can't imagine it. Dying by myself, without someone there to be with me or console me.

"What about you?"

"Losing my son knowin I could've prevented it."

{}

"Tri!" Ssiah called for Dimitri. We decided to go to the beach today because it's one of messiahs favorite places to go.

"Yes?" Dimitri helped me put the blanket down and so I could put the cooler down.

"I wanna go in water." Ssiah pulled on Dimitris trunks.

"Okay. Give me and mommy five fingers." I needed to set up the umbrella and put sunscreen on Ssiah.

"5 fingers?"

"Yes. Five fingers and then we can get in the water."

"What bout 1 finger?" I laughed, grabbing the sunscreen and puttin some on him.

"5 fingers." I told him. He looked upset but he'll be okay.

"Mommy is mean." I chuckled and put on his floaties and tied his trunks. There were almost off his body.

"I don't see you countin." He mean mugged me and then counted.

"5 fingers." He put up his hand. I smiled and let Dimitri take him into the water while I watched the stuff.

It was so nice to just sit and watch sometimes. I like being apart of stuff but being able to sit and watch is relaxing. 3 years has damn near came and went in a hurry. Ssiah is getting bigger and bigger, im getting older. I actually been applying to colleges but I don't know how that's gonna work with Ssiah. Imma obviously do local.

"Mommy!" Ssiah screamed, runnin towards me while Dimitri chased after him. Making him hug my legs and laugh.

"What is going on?" I laughed, watching them play.

"Daddy is big dinosaur. He's try to eat me." Ssiah laughed while Dimitri ticklin him and he fell out into the blanket.

I just sat there in shock that he even knew the word daddy, let alone call Dimitri daddy too. I guess he would eventually pick up the word and Dimitri has been around him since he was really young. But still.

"Mommy help me!" Ssiah laughed, i smiled mean acted like I was bout to beat up Dimitri.

"Stop big dinosaur or I'll use my heat vision to melt you." I swooped Ssiah up.

"Stop daddy!" Ssiah shouted, holding his hand out laughing.

"I'll have to eat you both." Dimitri chased us into the water, swooping both of us up. Causing me and Ssiah to laugh.

"Uh oh. Daddy's gonna eat us Ssiah." I got from Dimitris hold.

"Oh no." Ssiah acted like he was shocked. He's just so funny.

"Daddy don't eat us." Me and Ssiah said at the same time, causing Dimitri to chuckle.

{}

"Finally." Me and Dimitri laid out on the couch. After the beach, we went to go eat somewhere and then came back home. Ssiah threw a fit when it was time for him to go to sleep. Some things never change.

"He was like that when he was a baby too." Dimitri reminded me.

"I know. He would always get fussy when it was time for his ass to sleep." I chuckled, feeling tired too.

"He called you daddy today." I reminded him of the entire day.

"I heard him." He said nonchalantly.

"You upset about it or what?" I sat up, Lookin at him cuss I didn't expect that calm of a response.

"It ain't that. I'm just surprised cuss that was the first time I heard him say that." I nodded.

"You not uncomfortable with it?" He shook his head no.

"Most dudes would be though."

"What I say bout puttin me in the same place as dudes yo age?" I chuckled, layin my head on his chest.

"How you feel bout it?" He asked, rubbing my back.

"Ion know. I ain't never expect him to say it cuss I didn't think he saw you like that. I never did give you a title though so I guess it was bound to happen." I never, established, what Dimitri is to me or Ssiah so I can't get upset.

"What is my title then?"

"Hmmm. You're dad now, if your okay with that?"

"Imma always be okay with that. I damn near watched and help raise him too." That is true. Ever since he's been in our lives he's been a big help. He can't be here all the time but he's been here.

"Then you're a dad now. Congratulations." I chuckled, Dimitri hit me in the head.

"So sarcastic."