RUTHLESS

1

January 21, 2010

I walked in the house from school to loud music and my mama and her new dude on the couch, smoking.

"Liss, come here." My mama called for me. I put my bag down and went towards her. Her new dude starring me up and down. He made me uncomfortable as hell.

"Go to the store and get me a pack of cigarettes. You know the brand I like, and get yoself some snacks for school tomorrow." She handed me $20.

"Okay mama." I took the money and left the house, going to the nearest corner store, glad to be out of there.

My mama has always been like that since I was young. She always had dudes in and out of the house since I was 11 years old. When she ain't strung out she's always going out to bars and leaving me to fed for myself. If my daddy wasn't locked up he would've been took me outta here but that's the life of a gang banger.

Walkin into the corner store I bought some Cheeto puffs and the cigarettes my mama wanted. Usually they'll ask for IDs but the cashier know my mama so he don't care.

"How you been Lis?" He bagged my stuff up.

"Same old. Can't complain though." I handed him the money.

"How yo mama?" She handed me the change and my bag.

"You want me to lie or keep it real?" He chuckled a lil.

"She stayin outta trouble at least?"

"I guess. Bye Deryl." I left the store. Deryl is like my uncle, if I need somethin like school clothes or need to go to the doctor he'll take me or get it for me. Him and my dad used to be cool back in the day, I think they still talk but I don't know. I don't ask those types of questions, especially since my dad don't even write me no more or call.

Walkin in the house, it smelled like nothin but smoke. I peeped around the corner and saw my momma and the dude she brought over, on the couch knocked out. I put the cigarettes on the table and the change, then went to my room to shower; making sure to lock my door.

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Waking up to crashin sound in the livin room, I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I didn't even know what time it was but I was too tired to wanna get up and go play Scooby Doo. But the noise kept getting worse, like somebody was breakin up shit. Gettin up, I peeped out of my room door and saw the dude my momma brought over knocking shit over. My momma wasn't in sight but I could hear the screaming match they was having.

"BREAK ANOTHER MUTHAFUCKIN THANG IN MY HOUSE!" My momma came from the kitchen im guessin, lookin messed up like she just got done runnin.

"WHO YOU THINK YOU TALKIN TO!" He walked up on my momma, puffin up his chest trynna look all big and bad. My momma wasn't scared though, my momma wasn't neva scared of No Nigga.

"IM TALKIN TO THE BITCH THATS BREAKIN UP MY SHIT IN MY HOUSE AND AINT GONE PAY FOR IT TO GET FIXED!" She put her hand in his face. I grabbed the metal bat I hid in my closet just incase shit pop off, which is usually how it ends.

"I ain't gone be disrespected in place I pay bills in. Not by you or yo rude ass daughter." He towered ova my mom, fist clenched. My mama lookin pissed off already slapped him hard as hell.

"Don't you eva, talk about my daughter. Matter of fact, get yo shit and get the fuck out." She went to the kitchen and grabbed a trash bag, packing up his shit.

"I ain't goin no god damn where." He grabbed her arm; I opened the door wider, clanking the bat on the floor. They looked at me.

"You ova stayed yo welcome." He clenched his jaw, flaring his nostrils at me then let my mama go. She packed up shit and I made sure he ain't touch her or try nothin funny.

"You heard my daughter, get yo shit and get out. Don't come back here either." She threw his shit outside, he walked outta here lookin mad, and my mama slammed and locked the door.

"Help me clean this shit up." I put the bat down and grabbed a broom. Cleaning up the broken glass pieces.

I took quick glances at my mama, thinkin of how all this coulda been avoided if she would just stop bringing niggas ova here. It's always some busted up Nigga too. She neva think of the consequences at all when she bring drug dealers, thief's, junkies, and alcoholics over. She only think about herself and the now of it all. One day, that shit gone get her killed.