under one roof

kiss me

𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊

❀

punz wakes up, already feeling guilty.

he feels guilty for upsetting george, for ruining dream's big day, for making himself sick, for lying, for the feelings he has for his friends.

for everything.

punz gets up, his whole body burning with guilt as he drags himself to the bathroom.

he splashed water on his face, cleaning off the tears from last night before moving to wash his hands.

he starts with just briefly wetting his hands, before lightly rubbing together, then starting to scrub harshly, until suddenly he was scratching at the skin as if it would wash away his guilt.

the plaster on the back of his hand came off in the process, and through the scratching he caught onto the cut, causing it to bleed.

the pain was relieving and punz's mind clouded over with a need to return to the escape he'd previously sought out.

it was like his body was being controlled by someone else when he frantically ripped off his hoodie, pushing things out of his cabinet as he searched for a blade.

he didn't make many new cuts- that would just make hiding it harder- rather, he started going over all the cuts from just a few days ago.

sobbing, he fell back against his bathroom wall, sliding down to sit on the floor.

he could hardly see through his tears, not focussed on anything but the pain as he made every cut longer and deeper.

through his deafening mental pain, punz didn't even have the urge to move when his bathroom door swung open.

"punz, i just wanted to ask you about-"

sapnap's face dropped at the scene in front of him, quickly slamming the door shut behind him as he dropped down in front of his friend.

"punz?" the ravenette asked worriedly.

the blond looked up at him with red eyes, his breathing uneven as he cried.

to start with, sapnap didn't look up, the ravenette's gaze fixed on the blood rushing down his best friend's arm- some of it dripping onto the floor below him.

he finally looked up at punz, seeing his sad expression and holding the blonde's face in his hands- forcing their eyes to meet.

"how do i help you punz?" sapnap asked, not looking away from the blonde's face as he held back tears of his own, "what can i do?"

punz held back a sob, his mind still fuzzy with emotions as he stared back at sapnap, his gaze dropping to the ravenette's lips, "kiss me," he whispered.

sapnap furrowed his eyebrows, dropping his hands away from the blond and moving back slightly, "punz," he spoke sternly, looking almost disgusted, "i'm with karl, you know i can't."