Desperate

22

Arabella

We're sat in the upstairs living area, it's beautiful with a wood burning fireplaces that matches with the panels of wood on the pointed seeings. The décor is minimal with white walls and white furniture, however the pot of daisies adds a spot of life into tho room. It feels so homey in jealous.

We begin asking each other questions from the sheet of paper each one more pointless than the last, I learned his David are animal is a lion, he doesn't really read and he hates his father. We get to the last few questions and I get a bit intrigued. 

"What is your partnered biggest fear?" He reads.

"I don't actually know, I'm scared of my children ending up like me, or spiders" I've given up trying to give normal, untrue, replies, that won't help his assignment and I'm not going to be the reason he fails.

"What to you mean, ending up like you?" He looks confused and slightly baffled at my response.

"Fake. As you so thoughtfully put it." I look at him pointedly, "I mean I never talk bad about anyone or anything, but my mom always told me no matter what I should smile and be happy because you might make someone say better. Now every time I think 'fuck it I'm not happy' I can't help but feel guilty"

"Fuck that" he pauses realising how ignorant he sounded, "I just mean your mom wouldn't want you making yourself unhappy to please others I just don't think she wanted you to be a bitch."

He makes me laugh a little, I cover it up straight away but he noticed.

"How about you?"

He dodges my question and asks if I want to offer pizza.

"Don't change the subject, and yes, get one with jalapeños on please, but what's your biggest fear?"

"Heights."

"Seriously" I demand.

"Seriously, I'm fucking terrified of heights." He laughs, he's usually so cold and distant, but right now he looks comfortable, like he doesn't care if his tough exterior is brought down. "Right, fine, okay, I don't want to be like my dad, leaving his child and dying to get more money, and when he found out everything was left to me, he abandoned me when she died."

I know how hard it is loosing your parent, but I couldn't imagine if one of mine was still alive but chose not to be apart of my life, it would break me.

I move closer to him placing my hand on his arm, he softens at my touch and gives himself time to calm down, I could see him getting angry the moment the thought of his dad crossed his mind.

"I'll read the next question" I say trying to change the topic. "What is your biggest regret?"

"Can you go first" he asks.

I nod my head giving him a small smile. "Mines stopping drawing, I love it but when my parents died I couldn't do it and now every time I try I remember the accident."

He looks up at me, "what actually happened to them? All I know is that they died."

I take a breath, trying to stop a panic attack before it happens.

"Me, my mom and dad, we're going to my uncles lake house for a weekend away, we set off late on a Friday night to get there early, a drunk driver hit us, I was sat in the back behind the driver seat, the car impacted on the passenger side, so it instantly killed my mom, and the car spun and we we hit a lamp post so my dad banged his head on the steering wheel and glass shattered into him, he died in a coma the next day." I say trying to get the story over with as fast as possible. "It's still weird how I only got away with a slight concussion and a broken arm."

We take a break from the questions after that, I think we both needed some time to calm down. Instead we turned on Netflix and ate our pizza, it was fun, I enjoyed spending time with him and I think he did too.

"We have one more question" he gives an amused smile at my worried expression and says, "don't worry, it's not gonna make you cry."

I throw a pillow at him and tell him to read it.

"What does your partner want for their future?"

"You first" I say.

"I want a dog, I've never had a pet, I think it a German Shepard the dog I like." I look at him to see if he's being serious, I think he senses my suspicion because he looks back at the tv, still playing the office, and says " I mean I like a good job and a nice house and everything but I want a dog." He laughs.

"Well I hope you get your dog." I say happily.

Cole

"Your turn"

She leans her head on the back board of the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. "I what a house with with a large yard and a pool so I can teach my kids how to swim, the house will have big windows so natural lights always in the house and I want a studio so I can draw. I want to wake up to the smell of coffee and freshly baked goods from my kitchen full of food. I want to be happy, genuinely happy."

I look at her amazed she got so happy at the thought of the life she imagined for herself, I wanted so badly to be apart of that life.

She breaks me out of my daze as she adds, "and obviously tiger will be spoiled".