MADE IN KOREA

MIK 4

4: My guardian angel

"Why are you always hot-headed, Jisung? Can't you understand that he isn't in a state to take the stress? Why can't you just accept marriage? It's not like you have a lover...," Mrs.Han continued angrily, listing out so many things that Jisung found annoying.

Presently, they are inside the patient's room waiting for the nurses to bring Mr.Han.

Mr.Han fell unconscious, which made everyone panic, but he was okay now as it seemed like he was stressed about something, and that something was Jisung's marriage.

"Why are you all so keen on making me get married?" Jisung asked, harshly removing his hands from his mom's grip.

"It's your grandmother's wish." Jisung fell silent and Mrs.Han thought it was her cue to continue," She promised her best friend that to keep the bond alive, she will marry her grandchildren to the family." Jisung looked down as his shoulders stumbled.

"We can't marry you to their daughter as she is still a teenager and only their son is available now. We thought it wouldn't be an issue as you are bisexual while he is pansexual."

Mrs.Han held Jisung's clenched fists in her hands," Jisung, at least do this for your grandmother. Lee family members are nice and we are sure they will look after you well like we did ..." Jisung pulled his hands away, cutting Mrs.Han off.

"Don't start with 'will look after like we did' shit at me." Mrs.Han didn't say anything as guilt started eating her up seeing her son's eyes getting teary.

Jisung looked up and took a deep breath to suppress his emotions.

"Damn, it's not been 24 hours since I reached here and you are making me think like I made some grave mistakes." Jisung stated as he stared at her. "Now you are telling me to get married using my grandmother as a tool. Well, play, Ma. Well, play!" He yelled at last and turned around.

"Jisung..."

"Don't..." He uttered, his voice trembling. " Just leave me alone for some time." he left the room leaving his mother behind who just stood there frozen.

Did I do something wrong again?

Before she could gather her thoughts together and follow her son, the door opens revealing Mr.Han in a wheelchair followed by a nurse and the doctor.

I will talk to him when he is back. She thought as she smiled gently at her husband.
________

Leaning against the car seat, Jisung stared at the lonely place through his window with hesitation. It's been quite a while since he visited his grandmother.

After her death, it was difficult for him to accept the fact that the person who looked after him when his parents left him was no longer alive.

His guardian angel, his grandmother.

He never once had the guts to face her but today he needed someone to understand his feelings and that someone was only her even though she won't respond to him.

Reaching the tomb he knelt, placing her favourite white roses.

She always said that white roses are symbols of innocence and pure love and that love is the most powerful and purest thing that one should treasure like how a mother treasures a newborn child.

"Grandma..." Jisung uttered, reaching out for a rose and sitting there cross-legged. "I'm lost." He plucked one petal.

"I don't know why my parents have been trying to get me married since the beginning. I told them that I didn't want marriage. I'm not interested in love, but they are forcing me to follow them like they understand what it is." he looked down, plucking another.

"As if they did love each other. If they did then why did they leave me behind?" He plucked another one, " I don't think people love each other." He glanced at the stone, imagining his grandmother.

"Love is just an illusion, an illusion that only brings you pain. It's the same for all people, it is no different from how you feel anger or sadness. Every person feels the same, which means people who you love will leave you when the feelings get over, like how one calms down when their anger subsides." He uttered plucking yet again.

"Petals can feel pain too." He stopped immediately and looked up to see his grandmother beside him.

"Grandma?" He stuttered, shocked. Is... is it a dream? Isn't he awake?

"Are you taking out your pain on them?" Grandmother asked, pointing at the flower where its petals are missing. Jisung looked down at the rose.

"It's stupid to worry about something that won't happen, but if it happens isn't this what life is for? To either survive or sacrifice?" She said, taking the flower from Jisung's hands who was very much shocked by the situation. He then blinked his eyes after realising what she said.

"What did you mean to say, Grandma?"

"People are all different." She uttered, looking at Jisung who couldn't seem to believe his eyes. His grandmother, his guardian, was here in front of him, looking young and alive.

"How can it turn out the same for everyone?" She finished her words with a smile.

"I don't know?" Jisung said, confused. His grandmother chuckled, glancing away, and started sniffing the rose with a sigh.

"It smells good, right?" Jisung nodded," But even though we know it smells good and we love it, why don't we pluck them often?" Jisung blinked his eyes.

"Because it has thorns?" Grandma nodded.

"Thornes are made to protect themselves from getting harmed. A shield. It blooms without caring what others think about them, but even though we may see them strong, it only grows even stronger to protect someone they care about," She looked at Jisung.

"We see them growing. We get high on their scents and watch them withered and die." She held Jisung's hands and he felt warmness spreading over his body. She placed the flower over his palms and folded his fingers with her hands.

She let go of his hands. "Roses are like people. You just need to remove the wall around you for a bit to understand the other person and accept them."

"But Grandma, I'm afraid. " He said, watching her stand up, ready to leave." I don't think I will be able to love someone openly." He uttered, stepping forward as his grandmother walked backward.

"Life isn't always easy, bub. You have to face everything and be ready for everything until the end." He watched her turn around, walking out. He tried to get up, but it seemed like he was glued to the ground.

"Grandma! Grandma!"

Jisung opened his eyes and breathed heavily. He looked beside him to see the white roses and looked outside to see the cemetery.

He sighed and leaned back, understanding that all of it was a dream, but what was exactly his grandmother trying to say?