Not Mine •||JJK||•

20

Days went in a swiftly with me ignoring Jungkook's existence as much as I could. 

We still share same appartment and college as his parents insisted me to stay there for my safety. I couldn't deny them they have done alot for me.

They are oblivion to the stituation between me and Jungkook as they went to home on my birthday. They came to visit time to and time and that's the only time I get to see him.

I leave for the college super early not to get in his view. Come home late because of my part time job. Yes I started it. I didn't want my parents money knowing they can use this key in different ways to manipulate me.

I don't earn that much that I can manage fees and rent together so , even when half gets covered by scholarship,Mrs.Jeon insisted to help. But I refuse to take her money without the deal of giving her back to which she after a lots convincing agreed.

They even were against of me doing part time job. They told me they could manage my fees. But when I conveyed my pov they agreed.

Jungkook's pov:-

"Why am I feeling like this. It wasn't even a real realtionship FOR GOD SAKE!!" I growled. I didn't know if I was applying this on him or reassuring myself.

Earlier I was afraid to even recognise this feeling. But now.... I wanna don't know why but I don't wanna let go of this feelings.

I am feeling like a love sick puppy dieing for even one look of my girl.

The only I got to see her was when my parents came to meet us!

I couldn't help but look at her the whole time. She looked so different, more confident, more genuine and as always beautiful.

"You have been saying the same thing for a month now Jungkook!" Namjoon Hyung replied making me come out from my chain of thoughts.

"Do something Hyung.... I don't why this pain is not going away. She is living in same house. But the distance between us is like universe away." I leaned at the table putting my head on it and said to which Joonie Hyung nodded.

"Talk to her" he said while sipping his tea not taking a glance away from the book he has been reading.

"I can't you know that!!" I whined frustration was lashing in my tone. I can't go to her. I don't know what to say. She named my feelings without even knowing them. I fear she will push me away again. I fear I'll hurt her with my words again.

He huffed a breath putting the book away finnally diverting his attention to me.

"Jungkook.....have you tried to know her pov about all this.... even tried to know why she did all of this!"

" Ofcourse.....she wanted to end it cuz we made a deal of 30 days.... that's over means we are over!!" I didn't know if it was my ego , anger or fear that I let that out.

"That's the point kokkie... there's always two sides of the coin. If you can't talk to her than talk to your mother. You know she always have solution for your problems? I guess more than me she can help you"

.

.

"Mommie can I come in!?" I asked as I reached her cabin. My mom is a therapist that's why she able to understand Eun well.

"Oh...come in come in....what bring you here kook?" She asked while arranging her files.

"I wanna talk about something mom!"

She stopped doing everything. She does this everytime when I need to talk to her. She only and only give attention to me.

She sat on the couch patting at her side for me. But instead I crouch down laying my head in her lap.

"What happen son?" Her soft voice ringed in my ears.

"I don't from where to start b-but....mom.... I think....i think I like Eun___"

"And she is running away!" She completes my sentence. I hummed in response. It didn't make me wonder that my mom knows what's the problem is. I guess that's the mom thing that she knows every thing even before I tell her.

"You need know Jungkook.....she is different from you. You have grown up in a environment where you got endless love and care. But she....she has grown up in a surrounding where she was blamed even for exisisting.......when we gave her that fondess that love which she deserved from the start, she felt unworthy for that. It take time for someone to accept that someone truly is loving him/her when whole life they received everthing but love."

I gulped remembering how she didn't believe when I said I started to feel same.

"But she named my feelings as pity.......how can she? I mumbled feeling mom's hand caressing my hair.

"Hmm... that's complicated..... usually victims of abuse find themselves accepting the treatment they have been serve. Your feelings for her must be new to her. She must be finding it weird to understand that someone can actually love her while her whole life her parents had called her unworthy of it. She must be regretting while saying this words to you. She must be blaming herself."

"Then what I can do mom? I don't want to see her in pain again. I don't want her to suffer anymore. She had enough. I want to show her the every inch of love she deserves. I want to protect her." I said lifting my head looking to mom.

"Do you really have true feelings for her. Or just as she named it's pity?" Mom asked. I frowned at her.

"Mom....how can you say that!! my feelings for her it's not any kind of sympathy!! I can't even see her hurt. I want to protect her with my whole exsistance" I got defensive.

Strangely mom smiled looking at me.

"Hmm....my kook is big boy now.... I see.... protect and all I see!" Mom said teasing me.

Hot blood rushed to my cheeks. God am I blushing?

"Ju-just tell me mom!.....tell me what can I do!?" I exclaimed while my made a thinking gesture before turning to me.

She smiled sweetly before specking"Patients and love Kook. Patients and love. Stick by her side untill she realise your love. Make her believe what she deserves. But you need to know that you can't expect anything in return. Because if you did then the outcome will not be good.It takes time to heal and one wrong thing can lead to something you couldn't even imagine"

Her words seem foreign to me to understand. But I nodded. I was willing to do whatever it takes to pull her out from the darkness.

I was willing to be hers.