Not Mine •||JJK||•

27

Did I feel something breaking in me? Yes I did. I didn't know if it was because of what I saw or what I heard. Suddenly I felt lonely in this crowded world.

All I knew was this was too much to take in. Everything is falling back. I felt like I was cage. This time because of the people I loved. Again wanted to lock myself in a room away from this drakness of pain. Again I wanted to run away and I did.

I ran but unfortunately the water bottle kept on the side table fell down and made a loud sound but unfortunately heart doesn't make sound when it shatters and that's what people take advantage of.

The attention was diverted to me.

Mine and Jungkook 's eyes met for a mere second , I didn't had nerve to continue, so broke it and made my way out.

Screams of my name went misheard by me just like how shattering of my heart by them.

I stopped when I found myself in a dark and lonely atmosphere. Irony how I was used to running from this things for peace of mind and now this things brought peace to bursting brain.

"AHHHHHHHHHH" I screamed and cried. "Why....why....why always me!!? WHY!!?"

"Am I not worthy of happiness?? NOT ENOUGH FOR SOMEONE?? WHY.....just why!!?

I sobbed until my tears allowed me. But as they were also too fed up with me that they too decided to leave me.

My eyes were dry. Mind blank. Face which lack shine. Just as before.

I sniffed when I felt someone sitting beside me. I had no energy to see or even care who it was.

"Here....you must be thristy" I finally turned my head to the person. My eyes went to his hand offering me water.

I took it and gulped down.

"Life test people who are real. You are mean to be real not perfect to deserve something "

I eyed him but he was staring at front admiring the meadows.

"But only being perfect brings everything in this world.....even love and happiness!" I argued. I couldn't help but think that how if I was little near to perfect my parents would have liked me. Or how Jungkook would have not just left as soon as Ae-ri entered his life.

"It depends how you see what everything is or more like what your everything is"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"What's 'everything' for you? For me it's to prove myself that I can do anything I desire not what people tell me!....and for that I don't need to be perfect I just need to be me. What's your everything?"

I gulped at his question. What's 'everything' for me? Is it my parents loving me? Or Jungkook? The void of emptiness never fills it always desires something more and more everytime. The list never come to end.

"I-i don't know"

"Just like you don't know reality" his clam voice ringed into my ears. I frowned.

"Reality and 'everything' starts with yourself. You need to know what and whom to believe. Many times seen and heard thing can manipulate our mind into something which we always expect. And the reality never come to show"

My mind was filling the new gain information. I never thought if Jungkook or Mr.Jeon could do something like this? Can they? Can I trust mom who always brought nothing to me but pain? Is there other side of coin which I don't know?

"Just know yourself Eun....deal with yourself...... you'll know 'everything' ''
He said while his soft gummy smile was in my veiw.

"Thanks Yoongi"