Obliviate ; Fred Weasley

Sixty-four

The entire world stopped when I was pulled out of the water and oxygen entered my lungs again.

I was still in the water, but I was now sitting, Fred holding me up.

I spat out water before gasping for air and then I broke into tears, clinging onto Fred's shoulder as he held me.

I wanted to scream at him for pulling me out of the water, but at the same time, I felt shame and guilt about attempting to leave him.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, sobbing. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." He said, but I could hear the panic in his voice. "You're okay."

He reached down to unclog the drain, still holding me as tightly as he could. The water started disappearing, and soon I sat in an empty tub.

I didn't know how long we stayed in this position for, but eventually I stopped crying and I just looked at the wall.

Neither one of us said anything. We just stayed there, and he kept holding me.

George approached, but I didn't react. He was holding a towel and wrapped it around me before saying something to Fred that I couldn't hear, but Fred nodded, and then George left the bathroom.

"Let's get you up and out of the tub." Fred whispered before helping me to my feet. Then he supported my weight as I stepped out of the tub.

Fred tightened the towel around me, guiding me over to the toilet seat. I sat down and he crouched in front of me.

"Hey... Kai look at me. Can you look at me please?" He asked, and I forced myself to look him in the eyes.

As soon as our eyes met, he sent me a reassuring smile.

"I'm not upset with you, okay?" He whispered. "I just want to know why you got into that tub with the intention of drowning yourself."

I shook my head.

"I don't know." I said in a whisper, and Fred nodded, accepting that answer.

"Okay. That's okay." He assured me, brushing hair out of my face. "How about we get you out of these clothes and into something that's dry and comfortable?"

I nodded, and then Fred called for George who appeared quickly.

"I need to get her some clothes." Fred spoke and stood up.

George knew what he meant by that, so he stayed with me while Fred walked out of the bathroom.

I sighed.

Now I had messed it all up for good. Fred would no longer feel safe with me being alone.

I didn't look at George. He was leaning against the wall, watching me, and it was obvious he didn't know what to do or say.

"I'm sorry." I spoke, staring at the floor. "I didn't mean to lash out on you. I shouldn't have called you ungrateful. You're allowed to want more children. It's not your job to worry about those who can't have any."

George didn't answer, but I could feel his eyes on me.

"I'm really sorry." I breathed. "I'm just— I'm sad that I can't give Fred that family he's always wanted and—"

"Do you honestly think I'm upset about that?" George cut me off and I glanced up at him.

He leaned against the wall with his hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers.

"Kai, I don't give a shit about your outburst! I give a shit about you, and you just tried to take the easy way out because you can't have children! Do you think Fred cares more about having children than he cares about you? If he had to choose, he would choose you. If I had to choose between Fred giving me more nieces and nephews or you being alive, I would choose you. You can't just try to run when things get tough! If you died just now, Fred would break, I would break and Angie would break. And what about your family? Carter? Maya? Do you think they'd heal from you killing yourself? Trust me, Kai... they wouldn't."

I didn't answer. I stared at the floor, feeling the tears run down my cheeks in silence.

"What the fuck George?" Fred's voice filled the room. "Why are you yelling at that? That's the last thing she needs right now."

I shook my head.

"He's right." I said, my voice weak. "And now I've made everything worse."

"George, get out." Fred spoke, and when George left, he shut the door before walking over to me. "Ignore him."

"But he'a right..."

"He doesn't have the right to try and make you feel guilty." He said. "That's not what you need right now."

After getting changed into dry clothes, I just sat on the toilet seat while Fred dried the wet ones with a quick spell.

"You need more help, Kai." He said softly as he put my clothes in the hamper. "You're in therapy and it obviously doesn't help you. Seeing a therapist twice a week isn't enough."

I looked at him as he turned towards me and placed his hands on his hips.

He sighed heavily, and I shook my head because I knew what he was thinking.

"You're not doing that to me." I said. "I won't."

"Listen, I have no idea what to do here. Babe... darling... you need help that I can't give you. Help that two days of therapy can't give you."

I shook my head.

"It was just a bad day." I breathed.

"A bad day? We all have bad days, Kai, but you tried to drown yourself. That's not just a bad day. Kai..."

"I'm not going to some psychiatric hospital!" I snapped, looking at him. "I want to be here, with you."

Fred walked over and crouched down in front of me again, grabbing my hands.

"I love you so much, Kai. I don't know what to do here."

"Don't do anything." I shook my head, shutting my eyes. "I don't need a psychiatric hospital."

Fred placed his forehead against mine as he ran a hand to the nape of my neck. Then he pressed a kiss to my lips.

"If you get a thought like that one more time. If your thoughts are trying to make you do something like this again, you come to me and we will have you admitted." He said as he stared at my eyes. "I swear to fuck, Kai. I won't be watching it happen. One more thought, and we'll visit a psychiatric hospital, okay?"

I nodded slowly.

"Okay."

"Good." He offered me a faint smile before pressing a kiss to my lips. "I love you so much, Kai. I only want you to be okay."