Obliviate ; Fred Weasley

Sixty-six

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

Guys, this is sooo big.

It's been a month since my friends decided to step away from me after my two suicide attempts.

How crazy that is. I was just in the hospital after overdosing and the first thing they decided was to take a break from me.

I just love that, and with having Borderline Personality Disorder, it most definitely didn't trigger me into trying to off myself a third time.

Whoop whoop.

Note the sarcasm please.

Now it's been... I don't even know. They blocked me a few weeks ago, and we've been friend since we were 8, so guess that's it, lol.

-

At the end of August, I started work.

I had my own office at Hogwarts where I was starting to plan what I would teach the different classes.

Then September came around and I started teaching, which was fun. I turned out to be a natural, and the students seemed to take a liking to me.

Maybe it was that I was younger than the other teachers. It hadn't been that many years since I was in their place, sitting in those chairs.

I wasn't really what you would call a strict teacher. Sure, I had my rules, but I wanted my students to feel safe and welcome in my classroom.

I also wanted them to know I was there if they had a problem.

Weeks turned into months and suddenly it was December.

I spent so much time at Hogwarts. When I wasn't teaching, I was in my office. I left in the early morning and I got home after dark.

Sometimes I would sleep at the castle. I had a very comfy sofa in my office.

Anything to avoid Fred and the situation at home.

We were closing in on Christmas, and today had been the last day before the Christmas holidays.

I still had work. Some students spent Christmas at Hogwarts, and I had chosen to be there on December twenty-fourth and fifth.

I didn't want to celebrate Christmas, so I wasn't going to.

I was going to be working.

Right now, I had just stepped out of the fireplace, finally being home.

We had moved to Scotland last month. We still went through the plans, and we had our good days where we could act like we were in love, but we also had days where we didn't really talk.

I didn't know if he still loved me, but I knew I would never fall out of love with him.

"Hi Aaron." I smiled at the cat standing on the sofa, looking at me while slowly blinking.

I walked over and ran a hand down his back before picking him up.

"I've missed you." I whispered, kissing his head while just holding him.

"Have you missed me?" Fred's voice asked from somewhere behind me.

I glanced at him for a short second, seeing him lean on the wall that connected the living room to the hallway.

Then I looked at Aaron again, walking over to his bed where I put him down.

"Of course." I said, but I couldn't fake happiness, so my answer sounded dull.

After that one time we fucked in the kitchen in our old flat, I fell pregnant but I miscarried... again.

Apparently I can get pregnant, but I can't even make it to the second trimester, and that hurts.

"Are you hungry?" Fred asked. "There're some leftovers in the fridge."

I shook my head, walking past him as I pulled my robes off.

"Kai. Have you had anything to eat today?" He asked, turning around to follow me with his eyes.

I stopped at the door to the bathroom and looked back at him.

"I ate at the castle." I told him and then disappeared into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me, because I didn't want him joining me in the shower.

I had done that a lot in the past few months. The last time we had sex was that day in the kitchen. Now I avoid it, because I don't want to be close to him.

I want him to leave me and find someone who can make his wish come true.

This month made ten years since Fred and I got married, and I hated that. I hated that I couldn't just be happy and we could celebrate and be the perfect married couple.

After my shower, I wrapped a towel around myself and left the bathroom, walking into the bedroom to get dressed.

Fred was in here, sitting on the bed, so I decided to grab some clothes and change in the bathroom, but as I looked through clothes to wear to sleep, he spoke.

"How was work?"

I paused for a moment, shutting my eyes, and when I opened them again, I answered him.

"It was fine."

"Who did you teach today?"

"Third year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw." I muttered, grabbing a shirt and a pair of shorts before leaving the room again.

I got dressed in the bathroom and then brushed my teeth before returning to the bedroom.

Fred was still sitting on his side of the bed, so I just crawled onto my side and slid under the duvet.

"We had a kid try and steal today." He said, trying to make conversation.

He let out a small chuckle.

"George caught him red handed and the boy apologised over and over again, crying." He said. "He couldn't afford toys, so we decided to gift him some."

I hummed in response, turning my back to him as I shut my eyes.

"We're thinking about making it a permanent thing." He told me. "Giving toys to kids whose parents can't afford it."

"Everyone will start saying they're poor." I said. "Goodnight Fred."

I heard him sigh. I don't think I was supposed to hear, but I did, and I hated that I wasn't disappointing him.

"Night Kai."

I cried silently, a hand pressed to my mouth so he wouldn't hear. He got into bed as well, our backs facing each other.

I had never felt this lonely in our relationship before.

I was really scared we weren't ever going to go back to normal, but I was also scared that if he stayed with me, he might end up hating me even more than he probably already did.

"Kai, can I ask you a question?" I heard Fred ask, but I knew if I answered, he would know that I was crying.

So instead I just pretended to be asleep.