I woke up the next morning feeling sick to my stomach.
Today is the day.
Harry woke up way before me, brining me a coffee the second I opened my eyes. I left it on the side table, not feeling like I was able to take sip with my stomach doing summer salts.
While Harry was in the shower, I got up from the bed, grabbing a cigarette out of the carton Harry had left on the dresser.
I headed into the living room, glad to see that Felicity hadn't woken up yet. I knew she was going to ask me a hundred questions once got the chance, and want to make sure I was okay enough to answer them. Not that there was anything wrong with that, that is just what good friends do, but I just wasn't ready to talk about it yet.
So I went out and sat on the back porch, lighting my cigarette as I looked out onto the lake. The morning air was crisp, and you could see the fog coming off of the water. It was pretty peaceful, even for Harmony.
I jumped a little as I heard the door close behind me. I turned to see Felicity walking towards me in her fluffy pink robe.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." She spoke softly, sitting down next to me.
"It's okay." I muttered, taking another drag.
"You know you shouldn't be smoking." She said, messing with the hem of her t-shirt.
"Well I'm attending a funeral today, so maybe we can let it slide." I answered.
"I was just joking." She spoke softly, laughing a bit.
I put the cigarette up to my lips again, inhaling deeply, wanting to feel my lungs ache. I just needed to feel something.
"You want me to make you breakfast?" She asked, before taking a sip from her coffee cup.
"No," I answered quickly, "I can't eat anything right now."
I was glad that she didn't argue, and actually sort of surprised that she didn't give me shit for not eating. If I was being honest, I expected her to be in the kitchen cooking me a four course meal.
"Are you okay?" She asked, hesitating slightly.
I knew that was coming.
I didn't really know how to answer. I didn't really know how I felt. It was just a weird thing to deal with.
"I'm fine."
She knew that was bullshit, but she didn't pry, which I was glad about.
"Do you need anything?" She questioned, and I could feel her eyes burning into the side of my head.
I just couldn't look at her. I knew the second I did I was going to get emotional. I could just feel the pity radiating off of her. It wasn't her fault, and I knew that. If she was in my boat I couldn't help but feel bad for her.
It was a shitty situation.
I finished my cig, putting it out on the concrete, before throwing it out onto the lawn. I stood up as I blew the smoke out, letting it leave with the wind.
"No, I'm okay. I'm going to go shower."
I hated being so cold to her, I just couldn't talk about it anymore. The pain was too much.
"Alright. I'm here if you need me." She muttered, as I made my way inside.
"Thanks Fi." I replied, closing the door.
When I got back into the room I was met by a very damp Harry. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, his skin still glistening from the shower. His hair was wet, making water drip off of his curls down his shoulders and back. The room was slightly humid, as the steam poured from the bathroom.
