Madman [Hwang Hyunjin ff]

17

I woke up in my bed, the light shining shyly through the curtains. The clock showed '5 p.m.' on it.

In a moment, all the memories from the morning came back.

Bang.

It was the only sound my mind could replay. My eyes became watery, and before I knew it I was crying again. It was a sad cry, not desperate like the previous one.

I dug my face in the blanket, drying the last tears away before I sat up on the bed.

My head started spinning as I grew dizzier and had to lay down. I felt like throwing up, my body refused to feel normal.

I groaned, few more tears forming in my eyes from frustration. I covered them from the light with my arm, hoping to sleep the sorrow away, sniffling every once in a while.

Then, my door gently opened, revealing a worried Chan. He was holding some soup in a bowl, his cheeks reddened, his eyes slightly puffy. He had been crying too.

- Hi, Eun. - he showed me a faint smile - I just wanted to bring you some food. It might help. - he set it on my nightstand along with my chopsticks, then proceeded to make his way out of my room.

- Thank you, Chan. - I faintly said before he silently closed the door behind him.

I sat up again, this time slowly, taking my time to process what had happened in the morning.

However, it was all too overwhelming, so I decided to eat instead. Too many informations flooded my mind, and a panic attack threatened of happening. Therefore, being aware of this, I just shut my mind, not thinking anything.

It was a trick I had learnt through the years: I couldn't go around thinking of every murder I committed, so I would forcefully block those memories out. It would always help, so this is what I did this time as well.

I ate a little bit of the soup Chan brought me, just enough to feel the warmth inside me. It tasted really nice, I've always known Chan was the better chef out of all of us. In addition, it was my favorite soup. He really knows me well.

I stared at the floor for a while, contemplating what to do. In the end, I just jumped down the bed and slowly proceeded to make my way out of my room.

I stopped by the bathroom to fix my hair and wash my face. As I stared at my reflection, I realized I looked incredibly pale, not to talk of my eye circles. I looked like shit.

I sighed as I walked downstairs, my looks being my last worry at that moment.

Hyunjin POV

During the call, I broke down. Looking at her in that state was too much for me, and soon all the others followed suit.

Seungmin and Minho where the only ones trying to keep their composure, patting the others' shoulders and hugging them.

We had known Byung-Ho for seventeen years. He was the only thing closest to a father figure most of us ever had. Despite the harsh treatment, we were all thankful to him for having brought us together. The Stray Kids wouldn't exist without him.

When Eun fell on the floor, we brought her to her room, making sure she was nicely tucked in. I asked Chan and Changbin to do it, as I wasn't able to see her like that anymore.

Once we were all alone, we sat in a circle in the living room in silence.

- Jinnie, I'm sorry... - Jisung looked at me, his eyes still wet. - I shouldn't have said all those things to you. I'm sorry. - When my eyes met his, he couldn't face me, so he just stared at the floor.

- It's okay. - It was not, but at that moment what he had said to me was not my priority. Eun was.

I kept on inhaling and exhaling deeply, avoiding breaking down again. I stood up to pace around a bit, then went to the kitchen.

I figured Eun would have been hungry when she would have woken up, so I started making some soup for her. I knew what her favourite was, I had learnt the recipe by memory. Therefore, it took me no time to take out all the ingredients and start cooking.

While I was in there, Felix came up to me. I had a knife in my hands, carefully cutting some vegetables.

- Jinnie... - his voice startled me. However, it was not his usual deep voice, it was more high-pitched, the one he would have after crying. - I want to formally apologise for how I behaved in the past few days. I know that what I did was the worst thing I could ever do to you, but I can explain. -

He was referring to his lovely fuck with Eun and all of his attempts to get to her before I could.

I gritted my teeth, not even bothering to turn to face him, still focused on making the soup. Probably, if I had turned and met his eyes, I would have killed him on the spot.

- You have a second to start explaining before I stab you. - My cutting became angrier, the knife landing on the cutting board threatened of cutting the counter as well.

Felix inhaled deeply, before explaining to me everything.

When he was done, my mouth dropped. I couldn't process how the fuck one would come up with such a shitty and evil idea.

- Does Eun know this? - I managed to ask. He shook his head no.

- I'm so sorry, Jinnie. - His voice cracked.

Growing up, Felix was my best mate, the one I would be closest to. We would always hang out together and talk about our problems.

He was the first to know that I liked Eun. That's why I was so hurt when I found out what they had done in Seoul. All the trust I had laid on him vanished the split second I connected the dots. I wanted to kill him.

But the boy who stood in front of me after his confession was nothing like the Felix of Seoul. It was the Felix I knew. Fragile and broken.

I opened my arms for him, and he quickly ran to me.

- I'm so sorry, you know I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for him. - He sniffled in my shirt, hugging me tighter.

- I know. And it's okay. I forgive you because I know how it feels. - I said letting go of the hug.
I faintly smiled at him, ruffling his blonde hair. 

I turned to the clock: 5:15 p.m. The soup should be ready by now. I stirred it before putting it in a bowl and grabbing her chopsticks.

- So are we good now? - asked Felix on the doorstep of the kitchen, hesitantly. It took me a second to reply.

- Yeah, we are good. - I smiled to myself knowing I had my best friend back.

I went to the living room, asking Chan to bring Eun her soup. The others were now chatting about their various injuries they had collected in the past few days. Of course, Minho's was the worst, but also Jisung and Seungmin had been hurt.

Seungmin had been winged on his left shoulder. Luckily for him, it wasn't a major injury, so he only had to rest and disinfect it.

As for Jisung, he had fallen while running away, so his ankle couldn't bear all his weight yet. It was actually funny to see him hopping around the house, but no one dared to tell him in fear for their lives.

While looking at the room of quietly chatting men, I felt almost as if nothing had happened. It felt like we had never left for Seoul, and no deal had gone wrong. It felt like home again.