to all the people i've loved before | Ninjago Bruise

9 - sore eyes

I can't remember much from last night, all I know is that I fell asleep talking to him. It'd felt like hours, probably because it was, but it just felt like so much longer. I've always really enjoyed being able to ramble about nonsense without being judged or glared at. 

I just feel myself around Cole.

Yesterday was shit. I never expected things to go so badly yet everything that could've gone wrong went wrong. I was so ready to make us public and I didn't even think about the backlash properly. Why did I ever think it wouldn't be bad? 

Yes, there were a few times yesterday where I scrolled through the comments, especially last night. But there were also the moments where I just couldn't stop smiling at those congratulating us. It didn't feel weird like it did before.

I'm probably confusing the heck out of Cole. One minute I want to continue doing this and the next I don't; I'm not giving him a clear answer. The problem with me is that I'm so determined to do something but when I actually go to do it, I just overthink. That's one of the worst things about me. 

Cole's still asleep beside me, snoring lightly. Loud snorers have always bothered me yet Cole snoring doesn't seem to. Is that weird? 

His arm is over me acting almost as a protective barrier. It's not heavy and it's definitely not annoying me. It somehow makes me feel much better. I smile, watching as he sleeps peacefully.

I'm not entirely sure where I'd be without him. He's really helped me learn that I shouldn't be scared of being myself. No matter how annoying or frustrating I am, he always seems to stick by me which I've never been able to understand. Why does he like me so much? I really don't deserve him.

Ring. Ring.

Damnit.

Ring. Ring.

Cole removes his arm from on top of me and rolls over, scrunching is nose. 

Who the fuck is calling at this time of morning? 

Ring.

I groan and grab my phone from the bedside table next to me. I squint at the screen as I remembered I forgot to turn my brightness down before going to sleep. 

No caller ID

"Who is it?" I hear Cole mumble.

I frown, press accept and put the phone to my ear. 

"Hello?"

"Hi! Is this Jay?" the person on the other side says.

"Yes..?" I glance at Cole briefly, who is also frowning.

Cole sits up a little as I put the phone on loud speaker. This is a very unusual time to call since it's still really early in the morning and who the heck is gonna be awake? If it hadn't said no caller ID I probably wouldn't have answered it. 

"Jay! Hey, it's me, Kitty!" 

How the fuck do I keep forgetting about those letters?

"Kitty?!? Hey! How are you?" I exclaim, glancing at Cole again, who I'm assuming recognises the name off the letter he saw as he appears a little shocked. He shakes it off and pulls the covers off him. 

"I'll get out of your hair," Cole whispers to me. 

I respond with a smile as he gets up off the bed and winks at me before leaving the room. I really can't get over how great and cool he is. 

"I'm great, thanks! How about you?" Kitty asks excitedly.

"Awesome! It's a bit early for you to be calling isn't it?" I laugh awkwardly.