to all the people i've loved before | Ninjago Bruise

18 - love is embarrassing

"I don't mean to offend you but this movie is boring as shit," Jay groans.

"Hey!" I exclaim as quietly as I can, "this movie has a very special place in my heart."

"Doesn't mean it's good."

"You're just salty because-"

"I'm not salty!" Jay interrupts me, pointing a finger directly into my face.

I chuckle, bringing an arm up to wrap around his arm, aggressively dragging him towards me. A gentle kiss is placed on his forehead, the light giggle in return makes me smile brighter.

When I found Jay after my little interaction with Nya earlier on, I convinced him to come to my (recently cleaned) room so we could watch a movie I promised would be good. I've been wanting him to watch my favourite childhood film since forever, especially after the lantern date the other night. Now that he's finally seen it, it sucks that he didn't enjoy it. Although now that I really think about it, maybe it's only good for the nostalgia.

Either way, I won't accept any slander whether I love him or not.

"You are very salty," I smirk.

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

Removing my arm from him, I reach forward to grab my laptop, potentially changing the movie. I use one arm to scroll on Netflix, using my other to wrap around his shoulder, keeping him close to me. His head rests on my slumped shoulder.

Considering this is my first relationship, I seem to be pretty comfortable. It might be because Jay and I were always really close and we both have always loved physical affection, and that's why none of it really feels awkward. I'm so laid back about it and I think he is too, even though he's way more experienced than I am. It's good we feel ourselves around each other; that's the most important part.

I've never felt for someone else what I feel for Jay. He makes me so happy.

"You seen anything yet?" I ask him in a hushed tone.

He shakes his head a little.

I know he's not supposed to be in here, which is likely why he's so quiet, but it feels much different from the other times I've snuck him in. Wu would be brutal if he found out but I don't think that's what's bothering him at all. Since this morning, he's felt a little more tense, a closeted expression written across his face at all times.

"Are you okay?" I ask him, raising the arm I used to hold him to ruffle his hair gently.

He nods.

"Be honest," I add, "what's bothering you?"

He sighs again, "I can't stop thinking about all the Twitter stuff. I know you said it would be fine and that you'd get it sorted but.. I don't know. It's still worrying me."

"Why?" I frown, "I thought you didn't care what people thought?"

"But now they think I'm a cheater. I looked again this afternoon and it's getting worse, Cole. I can't say anything because it'd make it worse but I can't just sit here and do nothing either."

A tight feeling in my chest arises, forcing my arm from under his shoulder. I clear my throat a little, pushing my body so that I'm facing him a little.

"It's really bothering you that much?"

He nods again, staring down at his fingers as he, presumably, inspects every little crevice of his thumb.

I knew it was bothering him, I just genuinely didn't think it was this much. Jay isn't the type to listen to other people, especially when it's about his personal life, but considering how seriously he's taking this, it really must be bothering him. It's not like I've seen anything they're saying online so it could be worse than what I thought, but the fact he's so upset is making me slightly uneasy. It's not his fault, I know, but I'm not sure how to make it better.