If Only I Were A Marauder

Chapter 7

Warnings - talk of abuse. Fighting, Sirius being mean, Sirius victim blaming, turning someone down, breaking school rules, jealousy, mean brother, sibling rivalry, lonely

I was walking back from the showers when a hand grabbed me roughly. I was face to face with a very angry Sirius.

"I hear you think I'm wrong about Regulus," he folded his arms, and haughtily shook his hair from his eyes. That was a big difference between the Black brothers. Sirius knew he was good looking. He knew it a little too well and used his pretty privilege to his advantage. Regulus had no idea how stunning he was.

"You have to admit, you don't really know him anymore. He told me your parents are difficult and your coping mechanisms are different," I said.

"He claims he's coping? Not calling them out? Always allowing them to do what they want? Hanging out with their prejudice friend's kids," he snarled.

"He's their child, you can't blame him for their actions," I said angrily. "I can't control my parents either, is it my fault how they treat me?"

Sirius looked confused at my second sentence, but he seemed to tac a pin in it for later.

"Our parents aren't at school," he said.

"You're right, and I've literally told you he doesn't act badly. He defended me to Lucius," I tried desperately to explain. "You're victim blaming!"

"Victim blaming?" Sirius roared. "I'm the fucking victim, he is the bloody golden child, he's never had an issue in his life! I had to literally flee the house because of the abuse."

"Sirius, you have been through shit, but you don't have a monopoly on suffering. Your story is still valid even if Regulus struggles as well."

"I don't need to worry about that because he doesn't suffer," Sirius was so furious he could barely speak.

"Did you know the last time I was there they were prepping him for the Dark Mark? Yeah, he's on his way to becoming a fucking death eater," he growled.

"H-he doesn't have it, I've seen his arms," I stuttered, wondering if Sirius was correct.

"It's a matter of time," he said before turning. "Just a matter of time."

I didn't speak to the Marauders for several days and I was reminded of my past years at Hogwarts, the lonely nights. I didn't like it, so I talked to Arita a lot, but she was overwhelmed with worry for her brothers.

"Y/n," James and Sirius approached me. I turned to them, surprise they were breaking the shunning first. I'd been preparing to grovel in front of them.

"Look, I'm ashamed of how harsh I was with you. I stick by my warning, but I didn't have to be so rude," Sirius said.

"Me too," said James. I smiled at them widely. A warm feeling erupted inside me.

"I forgive you, I know it's a touchy subject," I said kindly. It was hard to remember the last time they'd apologized to me.

"As a peace offering, I wanted to lend you this," James held out the filmy fabric. It looked like water.

"You can sneak into Hogsmede!" James said excitedly. I threw my arms around him.

"Thank you Prongs!" I gasped. I'd never been to Hogsmede, my parents never signed my paper, even though I begged every year. They said I needed the extra time to work on school things, though my grades were spectacular.

"Just give it back at the end of the day," James said, hugging me back. I had a smile on my face the rest of the day.

"Why have you looked so cheerful all day?" Regulus asked on our rounds. It made my heart flutter to think he'd been watching me.

"You can't tell," I said conspiratorially.

"Of course," Regulus said solemnly.

"James leant me his invisibility cloak! I can finally, finally see Hogsmede!" I said.

"Oh," Regulus said, and looked pensive. He was oddly quiet the rest of the time.

The next day I was giddy. I snuck out in the cloak with the Marauders. They showed me all the cool shops. I got a bit lost in Honeydukes, staring at all the amazing things.

"Hey," I heard a soft voice beside me. It was Regulus.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked.

"Acid pops don't usually float," he whispered. I blushed, and put it back. He was standing at an angle that made it look like he was surveying the goods. I was thankful for his discretion.

"Would you want to get a drink at the Three Broomsticks with me? Andromeda is hanging out with Ted," he asked.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Regulus, I have plans with the Marauders," I said sorrowfully. "They wouldn't know where I was."

"No, that's understandable," he sighed.

"Sorry," I said again.

"It's alright," he waved me off.

"We're going!" Sirius hollered from the front door. He got some odd looks, but not many, because Sirius wasn't usually perceived as normal. I made my way over to them. I took James's hand. I'd been holding his hand all day, so I could stay with them. I knew younger me would've been swooning, I was glad I wasn't deluding myself any longer.

"Your hands are really soft," James said to me as we walked in the snow.

"Oh, thanks," I said quietly. Peter had been quietly brooding all day. He didn't like that I was along. He'd been actively trying to lose me, it was the reason I'd started holding James's hand. Peter was mad his plan had backfired.

At the end of the day I felt happier than I had in a while. I felt warm and safe as I sat in the Great Hall with the Marauders. At the end of the day, the houses mingled at different tables.

"Thank you so much Prongs, I had an amazing time," I said, sliding him the cloak under the table.

"Of course Featherfoot," James said, and kissed my cheek. I watched Peter nearly break his spoon. It was an odd move. It was something I would've expected from Sirius, but James wasn't as touchy, even with friends. Sirius had kissed all of us on the mouth multiple times.

I shrugged it off, blaming it on the fun day. I met eyes with Regulus across the hall. He looked angry. I wondered what was wrong with him. His natural resting face was stern, but this was clearly anger.

"Don't you have rounds tonight?" Peter asked.

"In an hour," I said, sticking my tongue out at him. He rolled his eyes. I remembered when Peter and I used to be best friends. We'd made flower crowns, and swam in the creek by our house. I wished I knew why he couldn't just let me be friends with his friends.

An hour later I was meeting up with Regulus to do rounds. We had a nice chat as we walked around, making sure students were in their dorms.

"I-I wanted to ask you something," Regulus stuttered, stopping me before I turned to the staircase for Ravenclaw tower.

"What Reg?" I asked. The nickname had slipped out. I watched him bite his lip and smile.

"Dromeda is having a big party on Saturday. I wondered if you'd like to come with me, I mean not with me, but come," he said, hands behind his back. He looked so anxious.

"Yeah, yeah I'd really like that Regulus," I beamed.

"Oh good, I can pick you up outside your tower, and show you where it is," he said. Patches of pink colored his pale face.

"Okay, I'm excited," I said.

"Me too," he smiled.