If Only I Were A Marauder

Part 15

Warnings - pining, alcohol, self hate, attack by accident, abusive parents, masturbation, sex spells, smoking (fyi this fic is R rated there will be dark things and smut, just in case you were assuming it wouldn't)

I woke up laying next to Regulus. He looked so damn peaceful in his sleep. I realized he was always tensing. Our hands had become interlaced and I blushed, it seemed more scandalous somehow than if I'd been on top of him.

"Reg," I said gently, brushing his cheek.

"S-sorry," he said in his sleep. It broke my heart that, that was the first thing he'd said.

"No, wake up, I don't wanna be caught," I said, and opted for shaking him. In an instant I was pinned down, his wand at my neck. The Black mask was in place and he looked lethal.

"Regulus, I'm sorry, it's me," I said, and he immediately wilted. He pulled off of me and curled in a ball.

"I'm so sorry," I heard the muffled voice. I rubbed his back.

"It's okay," I said gently.

"Th-they would sometimes send people into my room to attack me, they said it was to train my reflexes. They stopped doing it to Sirius when he nearly killed the hired wizard. I never took it that far so they continued. I-if I did poorly, I got the belt."

"Oh, Regulus, it was a trained response. I don't blame you at all."

"I'm such a fucking piece of shit. I try to have a good day with you and then you wake me up and I attack you. Sometimes I lie to myself and say I'm getting better, but I'm the same broken, frightened, little boy, who is too cowardly."

"Regulus, that isn't true, please don't think that way! It doesn't do you any good."

He gave me a withering glance.

"Hey, I like myself alright, it's just disheartening when others dismiss me," I explained.

"Then why...,never mind," he said running his fingers through his hair. We cleaned up our mess and stumbled groggily down to breakfast.

It was only when I saw the scarce numbers I remembered! It was fall break! All the Marauders were gone, and I felt my stomach flip. Gone! Especially Peter, because who wouldn't go home when they were spoiled with gifts and money, just for existing. Regulus and I could hang out as much as we pleased. He perked up when he heard this.

The next few days felt like a fantasy or a honeymoon or something. Regulus and I were near inseparable. We did everything together, and part of it felt like we were trying to relive our childhoods as friends, with someone who understood and cared.

Currently we were racing through the halls at top speed, trying to make it to the grounds first.

"Stop right there Ms. Pettigrew and Mr. Black!" The trill of McGonagall's voice sounded loudly. We sheepishly stopped and backed up.

"What is the meaning of this?" She asked.

"A r-race, Professor," I panted. Regulus looked embarrassed, but happy.

"Not in the castle please, I usually don't have to worry about the two of you," she said, tutting.

"Sorry Professor," Regulus smiled, he did more often now days, I hardly ever saw the Black Mask anymore.

"But, Regulus, it is nice to see you smiling," she said.

"Um, thank you," he said. I guided him away and we were giggling. He leaned against the school when we were outside. He lit up a sorcerer cig.

Whenever he smoked, I felt very needy. The way his mouth wrapped around the cig, it sent chills down my spine. I wanted to press him against the castle wall, and make out with him until he was breathless and then I wanted to take him inside and-

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"You never told me your first crush," I said, remembering he'd said it was embarrassing.

"I don't wanna say," he said, blowing out smoke. I wanted it to engulf me, but I forced myself to stay still.

"Common Reg, I told you mine," I said.

"Yeah but yours was obvious, I'm probably the only person in the school who can say their first crush WASN'T Sirius Black.

"Come on, for me," I grinned.

"Yeah? What have you ever done for me?" He asked jokingly. We both knew what we were for each other, a saving Grace.

"Pllllllleeeeeaaaase!" I begged.

"Fine," he ran a hand down his face. He took a deep drag at his cig.

"You just saw her," he muttered.

"McGonagall!" I screamed.

"Shhhh, shut it," he slapped a hand over my mouth. I felt my core go molten. He was so close. I wanted to suck his fingers.

"Yes, her alright, she's smart, I like intelligence, plus she is smart enough to turn into an anmagi, that's pretty hot if you ask me," he said.

"You do remember who you're talking to don't you?" I asked.

"My best friend?" He questioned. I turned. His mouth hung open in shock. He moved toward me slowly, as if I were a real snow leopard and would attack him.

"You never mentioned this, you just told me about them," he said. He reached out tentatively, and scratched behind my ears. A feeling I couldn't describe erupted inside me.

"You're remarkable," he whispered. I turned back and his hand was cupping my face suddenly. He retracted his hand quickly.

"That was really cool!" He told me.

"Thanks," I said, standing up and brushing myself off.

"It's nearly lunch, you coming?" He asked.

"I-I need the bathroom," I lied. I was too electrified to be around him much longer. I'd been considering something all week, but I was worried it'd make things awkward, even if he didn't know.

I raced to the prefects bathroom. I bit my lip as I laid down on the couch. I pulled up my robes. I had asked Andromeda if wizard sex books did actually exist, she said yes, and lent me one. I'd found one spell that particular interested me.

"hodie somniant," I spoke it aloud. A small bubble grew from the side of my head. Once it was large enough, it took off. It stood in front of me like a muggle television screen. I watched Regulus running through the halls. I noticed the bulge in his robes. Finally, he was in a bathroom. He was taking off his clothes. Of course, I only knew what his torso looked like, but my brain had imagined the rest of him. He only looked slightly off. Still good enough for me.

He took his long cock in his hand and began to desperately work himself. His moans sent tingles right to my heat.

My fingers went down and entered my cunt. I used a thumb to work my clit. I had done this before of course, but not like this, not to him.

"Y/n, fuck," my daydream of Regulus moaned.

I was moving my fingers fast. I pressed on my clit as I watched him help himself. I felt gross, but also it felt so, so fucking satisfying. I let out a small whine.

"Please," I begged, and he began to swipe his head, and fuck into his head.

"I'm close Regulus," I couldn't help but whisper.

"Uhhh, I'm gonna cum," my fake Regulus moaned. I pressed hard on my clit, and I was falling into a delicious orgasm as he came over his hand.

I finished up, feeling shaky. I'd never experienced anything like that, and my heart was racing. I scrubbed my hands clean, and ran to the Great Hall.

"Took you long enough," he chuckled, and when his shoulder bumped mine, I felt breathless. Nothing had changed for him, but I was even more obsessed with him. This was going to be harder to suppress.