If Only I Were A Marauder

Part 20

Warnings - abusive parents, lying, pushing someone away

I had decided I wasn't giving up on Regulus. For all I knew his parents brainwashed him every time he went back. Maybe he needed some time. I was so curious I nearly wanted to ask Sirius, but even if Sirius knew, he wild twist it to fit his view.

I tried all the time to talk to him. I placed a gentle hand on his arm when he wasn't paying attention. I came up to him all the time. I told him to his face he could trust me. He was always so mean. I hated it. This was the Regulus everyone tried to convince me existed, but I knew better. He couldn't fake all those tender moments with me.

It was torture. Two weeks of torture to be exact. I felt so dark. I'd read once about obscurials. I'd been horrified. Wizards and witches forced to hide their abilities so it turned inward into dark power. However, I found kinship with the explanation. I was feeling horrible all the time. I'd found a room that would give you what you asked for. I'd asked for glass so I could break it and scream. I hadn't minded the cuts I got. I was so upset that my Reg, had changed.

I should've insisted I go with him to his home. He would've been safer with me there. I was so desperate I even asked Lucius how he seemed. He said caged off but performing well, whatever that meant. Andromeda hadn't spoken to him Either.

One lonely Saturday I traipsed up the stairs to the astronomy tower at dusk. While Regulus had been gone, this had been my safe space. I'd close my mind and remember him and me and the beautiful day we'd had together. I was shocked to find he was here too. He didn't seem to know I was here, and he was... no! He was crying. My instincts took over. I was beside him I'm an instant and holding him to me.

"G-get away," he tried to shove me.

"Just give it up Regulus, I'm not going to stop trying to care for you!" I screamed. It was the toughest I'd ever been. He looked at me haughtily for a moment and then he crumpled. The look on his face actually made me feel like I was breaking.

"Tell me, just tell me." I begged.

"They forced me, I couldn't say no. They held out my arm," he was sobbing.

"Regulus, I don't understand," I said gently. His arm shot out and he held out his naked forearm. Under the horrid scar was what Sirius had told Me would be there soon. A skull and a snake snuck out of it.

"Oh Reg," I said.

"I'm so sorry. I can't describe the way I've missed you. It's been like an aching hole in my chest. But I have to keep you safe. You're the brightest thing this dark world has to offer. I can't taint that. I can't take you down with me. I told myself it'd be easier to shove you away," he explained.

"Regulus," I said firmly. "Nothing in this world could make me stop caring about you. You pushing me away would definitely hurt more than helping you, are you crazy!"

"I'm sorry for the pain I caused. The first thought I had after they forced it onto my arm was 'what will y/n think'. I was so worried about your safety. You're all I've thought about. It nearly killed me to hurt you, but you have Understand!"

"Shh, shh, Regulus I understand," I said gently.

"I don't deserve you," he said.

"Yes, you do. You're wonderful and amazing, and so brave and kind."

"Why are you like this? How come you never walk away? How come you're always so gentle and kind with me?"

"Because I love you," I said without thinking and slapped a hand over my mouth.

"Y-you love me?" He asked, mouth hanging open in shock.

"Yes," I hung my head. "More than that, I'm in love with you. I'd do anything, anything for you. I'm so insanely in love with you. Regulus Black, you are my everything."