𝓤𝓷𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓾𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓮 || 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓲𝔁

1: same old, same old.. huh?

(Most of the story will be in felix's pov, ill say if it changes)

I groan tiredly as my eyes fluttered open, the annoying sound of my alarm ringing through my ears. "Okay okay.." I said to myself, sloppily reaching over and slamming my hand down on the button; making the alarm stop.

I slowly sat up in my bed, slightly annoyed at my comforter being all twisted and balled up. I swung my feet over the side of my bed, placing them on the floor. I shivered slightly as the cold breeze hit my stomach when I stretched my arms into the air.

"Another day, another slay." I chuckled, remembering Jisung telling him thats what he says to himself everyday when he wakes up. It was uncommon for me to laugh, or even smile, but Jisung and Jeongin always found a way to bring it out of me. They were the only ones capable of doing that in the whole world.

I trudged downstairs yawning, knowing my parents were never home in the mornings. Not like I cared, they're just a couple of low life gamblers who drinks their problems away. It was almost as if the apartment was his; oh right, it was. Because my parents gamble most of their money away, they basically forcibly moved in with me; making my life hell.

I turned the corner to be met with a small homey kitchen, the aesthetic ruined by scattered bottles of wine and beer covering the island countertop. I sighed, knowing that its normal now. I walked over to the sink until something caught my eye, making me whip my head around at the unfamiliar object.

It was a slip of paper, with sloppy handwriting on it. Confused but curious, I walked over to the counter that displayed the note, placing my glass of water down. I picked up the note, surprised it was addressed to me.

Dear son,

Im sorry for everything, you won't be pestered by us anymore. We are running away. We lost a gamble but this was a lot more serious, we almost died down there. I can only imagine the look on your face, or the thoughts running through your mind as you read this. We are just pathetic cowards, yes I know. I pray to the heavens above for your safety, and that everything will go smoothly.

I know you probably wont believe me, but I will miss you. I will miss that sweet, angelic smile that was always plastered on your face when you were little. Or the beautiful array of starlike speckles covering your cheeks and nose. Or the way you giggled and laughed at the most ridiculous things as a baby. I think about those days every night, wondering where I went wrong.

So this is goodbye Felix, I hope whatever happens is in your favor; praying they dont hurt you. I left my necklace next to this note, it has the only baby picture I have left of you in the locket. I dont deserve to wear it around my neck, I have failed at being the one thing you needed most; a parent. Someone to love. Someone to be there when you needed comfort and safety. Someone to make you feel like you belong in this wretched world.

I am splitting from your father. I will escape when hes not looking, and finally live my own life. I will start rehab, and go to therapy. Ive come to realize your father trapped me in the darkest of places, making me do things I horribly regret. But I will finally be free. I pray that someday, no matter how far it is from now, that you can look at me and be proud to call me your mother once again.

Be good in school, make friends, live your life the way you want to live it, be happy with yourself. I will always be proud of you my lovely little angel.

I will always love you.

Love, Mother

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The soft sounds of hot delicate tears dripped onto the note, pouring from my eyes as I trembled lightly. I gripped the note with both of my hands, a surge of so many emotions running through me.

Frustration, relief, utter confusion, happy.... Sadness.

As I read the note, sudden flashbacks of my childhood shot through my mind, ones that were buried deep in the oblivion of my thoughts. I remember my mother holding me as I laughed, smiling down at me with the most beautiful smile that could brighten a darkened world.

How she held and cared for me with her gentle touch, making sure I was always happy. I remember reaching my hands up to trace over the light brown freckles that covered her cheeks, fascinated by every dot. Or how she swirled me around in the air laughing as we stood in the middle of a park on a bright sunny day in Australia; adorning the sterling silver necklace with a medium sized circular locket dangling from the chain.

Through the thick glossy tears, I placed my eyes on the necklace laying on the counter. The first shiny silver metal chain was now somewhat rusted, and the circle locket being scratched up. I shakily reached my hand out to grab the necklace, opening the locket. It revealed a blurry picture of baby me, smiling brightly at the camera as my older sister held me up.

Just seeing the amazing, beautiful smile of my sister I once had, my legs gave out on me. I crashed onto the floor, wailing heartbreaking sobs as I clutched the necklace and note so close to my chest. "Mama.. Jihyn.. come back to me!!"

After about an hour after discovering the note, I was still curled up on the kitchen floor; gasping for air as the long sobs never ceased. Because of this, I never noticed the sound of my front door opening, or the panicky sounds of two young males discovering me on the kitchen floor.

"Lixie! Holy shit!" A squirrel like boy said as he crashed down on the floor next to me; throwing his backpack to the side. "Its alright sweetheart just breath." He hastily took my frail body in his arms, rocking me side to side slowly to try and calm me down. I never let go of the note or necklace, sobbing even harder into the scared boy's chest until my voice was basically gone.

"Whats wrong with lixie.." Said another boy, frowning sadly as he sat in front of the boy holding me, rubbing my back soothingly as he lightly kissed the back of my neck. "I dont know, ive never seen him this upset. Mostly because he's crying of sadness, not pain.."

After about 30 minutes of trying to console me, we were now on the couch; Jisung and Jeongin sitting on either side of me. Jisung held my glass of water as he lightly tucked my messy blonde hair behind my ear. Jeongin was hugging my arm, kissing my shoulder every few minutes.

"Lixie talk to us... We're here for you.." Jisung said softly, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. I slowly lifted my head up to meet his worried gaze, shakily holding out the crumpled and tear stained note to him. I watched as tears prickled in the corner of his eyes reading over it, hugging me tightly after.

"Im so sorry... You never deserved this.." He said as he platonically kissed my forehead slowly. I leaned into his touch, feeling steadily more comforted by the two's company. Jeongin silently gasped reading the note as well, looking at me with so much remorse and sympathy. "Do you think your mom really meant it..?" He asked quietly.

I just looked at him with a blank expression, but my eyes filled with conflict. I nodded slowly, "from the years of torment, it made me forget again how this all really happened.." They both nodded in satisfaction, continuing to comfort me.

After awhile, I finally got back up on my feet. I clipped the necklace around my neck as it gently laid on my collarbone. We were currently driving to school, something I forgot I had to go to. I stared out the window, watching the trees and buildings go by.

The only thing on my mind was the note, but more specifically; the couple mentions of ominous comments spread throughout. She prayed that things went smoothly? Praying for my safety? Praying they dont hurt me..?

I furrowed my eyebrows at the thought, feeling the anxiety creep up my spine. Many questions began to cloud my thoughts: Whos they? Why would someone want to hurt me? How serious was this gambling loss?

Am I in danger...?

Well theres chapter 1! Ngl was almost in tears, this shit is sad. Really sets the tone for this story huh