Shades of Styles

21

Harry:

My mother always said that I had anger issues when I found out about BDSM it opened a new door for me to remove out my frustrations and find pleasure in my partner's tears.

Growing up in a royal family some would think I was raised up by perfectly in love parents when it was the total opposite, I've seen my father despite being my mother's mate cheat on him with several others, leaving her crying and sobbing and lonely. I swore to never be the monster that he is yet here I am, even though I haven't cheated on Louis and that we weren't exclusive or mates, I still don't feel any less of a monster.

Why did I even think that seeing him in pain would give me pleasure?

A shuddery breathe leaves me when I remember the teary blues filled with pain and sadness, fear is what stands out the most.

I was a sadistic man. Louis didn't lie about that. My omega was right, I don't deserve him, he's not who I want but I am selfish.

It was either let him go completely, watch him fall in love with someone who's going to be the alpha my beautiful Louis desires and wants or be that alpha.

I was in love with him. And I realised it two months after his absence, my alpha wouldn't connect with me and my rut was delayed, I was a mess and I couldn't just go back to him. I was in denial when the truth was I already had fallen for Louis the very first day we met. I was his, mind, body and soul.

When Louis was with me he always had this sadness etched in his blue eyes, a mantra of You're not enough, You're not enough for him had etched permanently in my mind. I wanted to be enough for him, wants to be everything that he wishes for but it's in my nature to fuck up everything.

I didn't mean to be this angry when I heard those trinket like giggles the moment I stepped in, I had smiled because it would mean that Louis might be in a good mood after our fight two days before. I had landed from Singapore too busy to talk to my beautiful omega because of that arse drilling deal I had to confirm.

But when I saw him on top of some alpha who was eyeing the my omega with a fond gaze and Louis was just so carefree, laughing and giggling like he belonged to someone like the alpha under him. Someone who wasn't like me, someone who wasn't as fucked up as I was, someone who'd love him with the entirety of them. My alpha roared inside my chest, taking over and before I knew it I was fucking up the chances of making a great first impression in front of my omega's mom.

I miss Louis. So fucking much that it hurts to even stay home, two months before when he left my flat I was quick to burn the fucking contract. I wanted to go on my knees and plead Louis to take me back but my pride was too big for that.

My ego had me stepping back. Only to realise a little bit later that what I felt for him wasn't just biological instincts towards an attractive and pretty omega but love. My alpha had found his mate and I hurt our beautiful love.

My eyes found the homely residence, It was stupid to be even here but I felt like I should apologise to the woman my omega calls as his mother. I grabbed hold of the bouquet of flowers, chocolates and sets of jewellery from my kingdom. I was on a mission and I wasn't backing out from it.

I cleared my throat, never have I been this nervous in my life. I wanted to proof that in those two months of solitude I realised that I cannot live without Louis. I love him goddess, at first the sentence scared me but now it feels second nature, to admit that I'm in love with a lovely omega.

When the door opened I was faced with a female version of Louis, exception being my omega had even more beautiful eyes. The woman in front of me immediately recognised me, her gaze turning sharp, "How can I help you?" I lick my lips giving her a tentative smile,