𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑

III. Got The Munchies

Chapter 3,
Got The Munchies
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" Man, shut up and eat. I didn't buy you food so you can interrogate me or my sexuality. "

~ Lorelei's POV ~

The sun was setting, I was currently outside of my house just watching it set in silence, I was dropped off at home along with everyone else but I didn't have anything to do, there wasn't anything for me to do that would keep me busy until it was time for bed.
So I just sat there, I sat in silence and thought back to everything that had happened to me, I thought back to everything that could have happened to me and what should have be didn't, I regret so many of my life choices that it felt as is I was dying.

There was so many things that I wish I had done and wish that I hadn't done, if I could go back in time and change all of my actions, trust me I would.
I would change everything I could if it meant that I didn't end up all lonely and scared for my life, but at the same time, I felt like if I became someone I'm not then I wouldn't be where I am now.

Which means I'm stuck between who I am, who I want to be, and who I cannot be, I wanted to be a straight A student that was always in her honors classes and didn't miss a single day even if she were sick or suffering through something, but I'm just a girl who dropped out because everything got to be too difficult for me and I couldn't handle the heat, and I can't be some sick lonely girl that ends up taking her life because the voices said so.
Everything could have changed for the better, worse or normal, I didn't want to sit here and mope around over things that I couldn't control so I got up and walked down the streets to the corner store.

I walked into the store and smiled at the cashier before walking down to where the drinks were, I grabbed a mango-carrot drink before turning around to order a sandwich considering that I didn't eat anything the whole day other than my breakfast which was considered late lunch.
When I walked back to the register, I placed the drink the sandwich down, I ignored the bell that rings everytime someone enters the store and paid for the my food.

"Hey Lori!"

Kendra beamed brightly as she placed her BLT and soda down on the register, I paid for her things and told her to come over so we can hang out and so that we can catch up on things that I missed out on.
She agreed happily and we left the store, she didn't waste any time on telling me everything that I had missed when I went ghost on the whole world.

I hated being left out but I didn't want to be apart of the friend group when I knew that there was nothing for me to be apart of, I was more unhinged before I went ghost, coming back from the hole I put myself in only made me more unhinged.
There was nothing that stopped me from thinking the way that I did, I wanted to stop the world from beating me down.

"So what's going on with you and Stacy, y'all have been getting closer than the last time you guys have seen each other."

Kendra brought up as she took a bite out of her sandwich, I looked at her and took a deep breath before taking a bite out of my own sandwich, I didn't like talking about my sexuality or who I had a crush on.
Not because it made me uncomfortable but because I didn't know what I was or who I liked, I didn't want to seem any different to my friends, I just wanted them to like me.

" Man, shut up and eat. I didn't buy you food so you can interrogate me or my sexuality. "

I told Kendra jokingly, the girl only smiled at me and nodded her head as she dropped the topic and asked me how everything was going, if I liked the peace and quiet that I now have, but the truth wasn't going to come out, even if I wanted it to.
My mind went blank and I just stared at the ground with my eyes going all glossy, I didn't know why I was so hurt with the question but I knew that I was.

Kendra stopped eating and she hugged me tightly, I hugged back without hesitating at all, I knew I could trust Kendra with my life because she wouldn't go to anyone else about what I told her.
Instead, she would tell me that if anyone were to treat her a normal and regular girl it would be me, I understood what she meant by that as well.