'Til Sun Beams Find You [COMPLETE]

Eight (Part 2)

Nico had her legs tucked into her chest and a pillow rested atop her knees that she planted her cheek on. She looked at Dr. Owens from across the room.

For a woman in her 60s, Dr. Owens didn't look anywhere near it. Her red hair was as red as the photos she had up from her youthful years, her style was impeccable and daring as she wore a blue sweater and emerald green pants, and her glasses made her look like a fairy.

"It was the first time I ever shared that."

"How did it feel?"

"Better than I previously expected."

She never shared that her sister died because, she didn't need to. Everyone already knew when it happened, and anybody who wasn't around at the time, didn't need to find out.

"I expected to have a complete breakdown... I mean, it was still pretty painful but nowhere near what I had told myself all this time."

Dr. Owens smiled. "I see this as a really big leap. Can I ask you what compelled you to share?"

Nico shrugged. "I don't know. Carter's just so... open about everything and the things he's been through and going through. Like the fact that his mother died, or that his grandmother's sick... or the relationship he has with his dad... these topics aren't taboo for him the way they are for me. I never share anything about my family. He doesn't even know how many siblings I have, if any, but I know so much about his life."

She pulled the pillow into her chest.

"I just didn't want to feel like I was hiding a big part of my life or keeping it a secret. Emi is– was a big part of me."

The therapist nodded her head as she observed Nico's body language and how closed off she was. "Do you want to talk about Emi today?"

Nico shook her head quickly. "No, I don't. I guess I'm bringing it up because I could stand to be more open with new people I allow into my life."

"And this Carter... you want to let him in or you feel obligated to?"

"Both?" She answered, confused herself. "I know that I like him a lot and want to get to know him even more, so that's expected of me to open myself up. I'm just having a hard time being vulnerable."

"Being vulnerable requires a level of trust to be built. Just because he's open doesn't mean you have to be, that may just be his nature. You shouldn't feel an obligation to do so. Do you feel pressured to?"

"No. Carter's really understanding. I doubt he's even thinking twice about anything I say or even realizes I have a million walls up, I'm just... preparing myself for the possibility of you know..."

She didn't want to say it aloud for fear of jinxing them.

"A relationship?"

Nico nodded. "Possibly, down the line," she added quickly as she surely wasn't in a rush, and she knew Carter wasn't either. "But I don't want this issue of mine to rear its head so I want to work on it now."

"I see," Dr. Owens responded. "Perhaps we can build a ladder of things you're comfortable with sharing and those you aren't, and you can work your way up that ladder as you see fit."

"That's a good idea," Nico agreed.

"And this Gabriel?"

Nico smiled. "He seems really promising so far. I guess I won't know for sure until tonight since everything has been over the phone or text, but so far so good. And he has the same taste in food as me!"

She was excited as she loved to try new restaurants.

"I'm happy to hear you're opening yourself up to love again," Dr. Owens said.