'Til Sun Beams Find You [COMPLETE]

Sixty (Part 1)

Nico looked around the quiet apartment, wondering how she had ever lived her life without Eli.

How did childfree people do it?

She woke up in the mornings on her own without a baby hitting her face, showered only once, made breakfast and then cleaned the kitchen only once, sat down and watched some Real Housewives in silence with no interruptions, no baby talking to her every five seconds, pulling her attention away so she would have to rewind.

In the afternoon, she didn't have to wrestle a baby to get him to nap just so she could get some peace and quiet... she existed in peace and quiet the entire afternoon. She wasn't being randomly undressed when he felt like having breast milk, or having food smeared all over her while he ate, her clothes stayed exactly as she wore them.

Then in the evening, when she was ready to go to bed and prepared to clean up like she always did, the house was as clean as it was in the morning.

Nothing was out of place.

And she didn't fall right asleep when she hit her pillow, fatigued from chasing a 12-month-old busy body around the entire apartment all day.

She wasn't tired.

She stayed up for an hour after being in bed, trying her best to sleep.

She couldn't even remember what life was like before Xavier was born, and that was only one short year ago. All she knew was life with her son, and days they spent together every single day since he was born.

She looked at the glass of water on the coffee table and the plate of muffins with a few crumbs, surprised they were still in its place and not knocked over for her to clean.

She couldn't remember the last time she ate on the couch.

Nico grabbed the plate and cup and walked the short distance to the kitchen, not stopping to kick a toy or step over one either.

It was so... eerie.

She missed him a lot, but as she glanced at the time on the microwave, she knew Carter would be calling soon as it was his bedtime in thirty minutes, and even though his schedule had been out of whack, he wasn't compromising on his bedtime.

She washed the dishes in silence, and then thought to turn on some music when it felt so weird.

Usually Eli spoke to her while she did her chores.

She scrolled through her playlist, hitting play on her favorite Beyoncé album, 4, as the songs shuffled.

Nico wasn't remotely tired so she decided why not clean the microwave and the toaster and the coffeemaker while she waited for Carter to call her.

Ever since you knew ya power... you made me cry...

She hummed softly as she dumped the crumbs at the bottom of the toaster into the garbage.

...And now every time our love goes sour, you won't sympathize....

"You see these tears fallin down to my ears... I swear you like when I'm in paaain.."

I try to tell you all my fears.. you don't care well that's okay.....

"Heyyyyyy, well I care," she sang off-key, spraying some surface cleaner on the inner walls of the microwave and wiping it down. "I know you don't care too much but.. I still care... la la la..."

Nico went around the kitchen, cleaning up all the everyday items she used but never really got a chance to do a deep clean for because she never had the time, especially not recently with Zay's birthday party and all the planning involved.