'Til Sun Beams Find You [COMPLETE]

Fifty-nine (Part 1)

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"Mama!!" Xavier yelled, leaning forward to hit her face.

She opened her eyes, staring at her little boy sitting on the bed in front of her.

He wanted to go out and play in the living room, as it was noon, and she wasn't entertaining him. But Nico closed her bedroom door, because she physically couldn't get up from the bed and keeping him inside the bedroom was the only way to keep an eye on him, even though she wanted to sleep.

She wasn't even making him food, as he was breastfeeding when he felt like, just pulling her tank top down when he got hungry, and sleeping when he wanted, living a self-sufficient life as Nico literally could not do anything for him.

"Mama!!"

"Mhm.." she wiped the tears from her face.

He pointed to Carter's empty side of the bed.

"Dada?" He asked, wondering where Carter had been. "Dada bye-bye?" He asked, because Carter always said bye-bye before he left for work.

Except, Xavier hadn't seen him in days now and he was worried something had happened to his father.

But the words 'dada' and 'bye-bye' made her start sobbing as she pulled the blanket over her head, at least putting a barrier between her tears and Eli, so he didn't have to keep seeing her cry, even though it was all he saw the last few days.

"Mama..." he leaned forward, pulling the blanket off her head and hugging her as she cried, because that was what she and Carter always did when he cried.

Comfort was all he knew.

He kissed all over her face. "Mama.." he cooed softly, kissing her tears away as he held her cheeks in his hands and then hugged her again. "Sssss mama," he tried to shush her softly, but he couldn't quite get the 'sh' sound.

Love was all he knew, and he was giving it back to her the way they always gave it to him.

How could she think he belonged to anybody but Carter?

She refused to ever take that demonic medication ever again, as she blamed it for putting that horrible thought in her mind and having her obsess over it for months and months and months.

And now she had lost the man she loved.

She knew there was no coming back from this, as she had ruined things for them.

Xavier gave up on comforting her when he got hungry, and he just leaned over, taking her breast out of her tank top and putting his mouth on her to feed, ignoring the way she shook gently as she sobbed.

There was another knock at the front door, and Xavier's head zipped upwards before he climbed off the bed and headed to the bedroom door, trying to open.

"Mama!!" He called for her, needed her help. "Mama... dooooooor," he sounded the word out, playing with knob, trying to open the way he saw the adults doing, but he couldn't wrap his little fist around it completely. "Mama... doooor!!!"

Nico rolled over, knowing whoever it was would leave eventually without her having to address it.

Thankfully the knocking stopped soon after, but Xavier pressed his ear to the door and could hear the keys and his eyes widened.

"DADA!!!" He yelled in excitement.

Nico cried at his calling for his dad, knowing she had ruined things for him.