SSA Aaron Hotchner is stepping down from his Unit Chief position for a 6-month period due to an assignment in overseas. To his temporary replacement comes SSA Alexandra Barnes, Chief of the Child Abductions Unit. Both Hotchner and Barnes have their...
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His POV We wrapped another case a few hours ago and I was on my way out of the office when the elevator opened and I saw Lexie.
With just one glare, I can tell that she isn't ok. Worse than any other day. Her eyes are red like she is fighting not to cry. But I lost the right to comfort her for anything when I yelled at her and probably fed all her insecurities.
"Hey" she says politely as she sees me
"Hi" I reply and I get in the elevator. I stand besides her and we both stay quiet.
She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She is calming herself. A knot forms in my chest and I feel like I can't breathe either.
"Are you ok?" I ask without looking at her, to not make it worse
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just a shitty day" she answers and I nod.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I offer
"No, no. I shouldn't be putting this on you. I'll talk about it with my therapist tomorrow anyway".
'I shouldn't be putting this on you'. Here it is. My damage...
"I know I said those things to you but that doesn't mean I stopped caring about you that night, ok?" I mention. She nods and keeps her head down.
She almost runs out of the elevator when we reach the basement to get to her car.
Will she be ok? I want to be with her so bad... What's wrong with me?
She'll be ok. She always is. I keep telling that to myself all night.
And then my phone rings. "Hotchner" I answer without opening my eyes
"Aaron..." her voice breaks and my heart drops
"Tell me" I say as I jump out of bed
"I... I'm really sorry. I don't want to bother you but you were..." a sob interrupts her sweet voice, and without waiting for more explanation, I grab my jacket as I head for the door. "You were the last person I wanted to bother at this hour... But I need to talk to someone. I need to listen to someone else other than... other than my overthinking. Because I don't want to drink tonight" she explains sobbing. I grab my keys and I leave.
"Ok, listen to me. I'm on my way, ok?"
"No, you don't have to come just... Just staying on the other end is fine" she says
"Too late, I'm already in the car. I'll be there, 10 minutes tops"
"10 minutes..." she repeats
"Yes, maybe 7. What I want from you is to sit down and take a few breaths, can you do that?" I ask
"I'm trying... I promise, I am trying" she cries
"I believe you. I believe you, love".
"Every time I close my eyes, I see the three dead babies we found on this last case. And then I hear the parents raging at us for not being fast enough... It was so bad that they needed DNA to identify them, Aaron".
I find myself tearing up as she describes the scene, but I don't stop her because I need her talking until I get there.
"I'm sure you did everything you could"
"But it wasn't enough..." she replies as I park in front of her building.
"It was enough. You know that we can't save everyone on this job and it sucks"
"It really does".
I let myself in with my keys and I find her sitting on the edge of the bed. She looks up from her phone almost surprised "You came..." she whispers
"Of course I did" I say and I pull her in my arms. With one hand, I hold her waist tightly against me and with the other I hold her head.
I don't know for how long she has been crying before she called me but she is currently shaking.
"I'm really sorry I made you come here so late" she says crying
"You didn't make me do anything. I want to be here" I reassure her and she nods against my chest. "You asked for help. I'm so damn proud of you for that" I add as I rub her back.
Her POV I don't remember when I fell asleep last night. But I remember that I was crying, that I called him, that he came, that he stayed with me and he hasn't let go yet, since I can still feel his arms around me.
I missed waking up next to him. I missed his scent, the sound of his breathing and feeling his heartbeat.
I open my eyes and I pull my head back to look at him. He opens his eyes too and brings his hand to my head.
"Good morning" he says as his fingers brush through my hair
"Good morning" I reply without resenting his touch
"How are you feeling today?"
"Better. Thank you for everything".
He finally smiles, causing me to smile too. "You fell asleep really late last night so I called Strauss this morning. I told her we're both down with food poisoning" he informs me
"I'll remember that".
He looks at me and lets out a breath "I'm really sorry" he says as he rubs my cheek.
"No, Aaron, you were right. I needed help but I believed since I was comfortable I would be fine. I haven't realized how much I was putting onto you" I admit
"And I should have told you how I felt in a better way"
"So again, we need to work on our communication. I mean we don't have to since we're not..."
"Do you want to be?" he asks
"Isn't it obvious?" I chuckle. "I love you so much and I'm doing the best that I can because you deserve better. I'm not trying to guilt trip you. I just want you to know that I am working through my trauma and whatever comes along with it. But I also understand if you need time or space" I suggest
"I don't need more time or space. I'm so in love with you, Lexie. These past three weeks have been probably the worst and longest three weeks of my life" he says and hugs me.
"You have no idea" I agree and he kisses me. "Can we always be like this? Make up and then make out?" I ask.
He chuckles. "Well, we have 5 days off with food poisoning, so we can do whatever you want" he reminds me and kisses me again.
"How about a getaway vacation?" I suggest, he pulls away and looks at me waiting for more information "Think about it, we worked during Christmas, we need the break. And I have a friend with rentals in Miami Beach who can hook us up. Think about how sunny, warm and quiet Miami is during February"
"Well, it's the end of high-season so I'm assuming it is quiet..." he comments
"Yes! I'll start packing" I say excited as I jump out of bed.
