SSA Aaron Hotchner is stepping down from his Unit Chief position for a 6-month period due to an assignment in overseas. To his temporary replacement comes SSA Alexandra Barnes, Chief of the Child Abductions Unit. Both Hotchner and Barnes have their...
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"Let me make one thing clear to you. Even if you somehow survive... You'll look at yourself and you'll remember me. Those marks, those scars, will never heal completely. I'll always be in there. You'll remember me forever! You will be disgusted with yourself. And so will everyone else. So I win again!" he says.
I wake gasping for air. I hate this part more than anything. He is dead but I still see him in my sleep and I can't rest as much as I want. Sure, therapy helps however it's a slow process.
I sit up on the bed and I rub my face. Aaron has been away on a case all weekend and today. He stayed with me for the first two weeks which I'm grateful for, but I convinced him to go back since I'm doing a lot better. This is the fourth week of my recovery. I have one more month after that, and then I can begin retaking my qualification tests (gun, tactical, etc.) 6 weeks from now or take an addition 2 weeks off if I want to.
To be honest, now that I'm healed enough to be able to take care of myself without help, it feels good to be home even when I'm alone, like today. I make my coffee, my breakfast and I sit in the peace of my living room or the balcony.
Until there is a knock on the door. The BAU is in Alabama, Zoe is in Texas, Evelyn has a class right now. Do I know anyone else?
I get up and I check the doorbell camera. What's the witch doing here? I quickly fix myself a little bit before I open the door.
"Good morning, Lexie" she smiles
"Erin, good morning. What can I do for you?" I ask with a smile on my face
"I didn't have a chance to see you after everything that happened" she says
"Right. Ok. Come in". I open the door further for her. "Excuse my appearance, I just woke up" I admit, pushing down the hem of my shorts as far as I can.
I let her sit while I refill my coffee and I get her a cup too. "Thank you. How are you doing?" she asks as I sit down with her
"I'm trying to get better. Taking it easy is not really my thing, but I have people around me to remind me" I answer
"Of course". She pauses. "Lexie, I am really sorry for everything. I can't imagine--"
"We don't have to do this, ok? You have your job back, I'm here and everything will be back to normal soon. I just want to leave him and whatever happened behind"
"I understand. But I couldn't ever thank you enough"
"I was just protecting everyone that needed to be protected. That's my job" I remind her.
She nods and reaches to her briefcase. "Speaking of work. The director wanted to sent them to you next week but I offered to give them to you myself"
"Give me what?" I ask
"His offers for you" she answers.
"Offers? Like multiple?" I ask surprised
"Three actually". She pulls out three files, one bigger than the other. "First, you can return to your Unit Chief position in Child Abductions"
"I thought that was the plan..." I admit.
"The director is also willing to offer you early retirement. We can offer you full pension and benefits".
I go through the file and the plan she gives me. But staying at home like this from now on...? It's peaceful and less traumatizing for sure...
"And the third?" I ask and she gives me the last and the biggest file.
"He is offering you the position of Assistant Director and he is willing to negotiate about your payment, that's why it's blank on there" she explains but I'm still shocked by the 'Assistant Director' part.
"I... I don't know what to say right now. When are you expecting an answer?" I ask
"By the end of your leave. You have plenty of time to think about what you want to do"
"That's great. Thank you for taking the time to bring them to me so early on"
"Of course. Let me know if you have any questions or if you need anything else. Perhaps, I can offer Aaron one more week off, in case you need assistance in the house" she suggests
"No, no, it's ok. I told him to go back. My sister comes by everyday to check if I need anything when Aaron is away. And sometimes Garcia comes by. I am very lucky to have them all"
"I'm very happy to hear that"
"And I kind of enjoy the quiet and free time right now" I joke
"Right. Well, you'll have more of it if you accept the retirement offer".
"Are you saying that you want me to leave the bureau?"
"That's your choice but we're offering you a way out of all that if you want it".
The truth is that I don't know what I want right now. And I don't know what to tell her.
To my relief, the front door opens and Aaron walks in. I see how his smile shrinks as soon as his eyes land on Strauss and I try not to laugh.
On the other hand, I don't care if she's watching. She is in my home anyway, not the office, so I don't bother to keep the professional relationship on.
"Hey, you didn't tell me you were on your way back" I say as I walk to him
"I didn't want to call and wake you up" he replies and kisses me very quickly.
I move over so he can leave his bag and jacket down. "Chief Strauss, good morning. I believe I left you a message about us finishing up" he says
"Yes, I saw it" she responds as she collects her things and gets ready to leave. "Could you inform the team that you have until tomorrow afternoon to turn in your reports? You should all get some rest today" she says. She is giving extensions now? Wow...
"I will. Thank you" he replies
"It was nice seeing you, Lexie. Have a good day" she says as she leaves
"You too" I reply shutting the door.
I turn to Aaron immediately "I just earned you an extension, I hope you noticed that" I say
"I did" he smiles and kisses me. "Why was she here? Everything ok?" he asks
"Yes. She just came to drop some offers from the director regarding my return" ...or not return.
"Good or bad news?" he asks
"Both. But it can wait. Meanwhile, you should go take a shower and some sleep" I suggest
"You're right"
"When are you going to get that I'm always right, Aaron?" I tease and I kiss him. During the kiss, he softly rubs the small scar on my cheekbone. He never hesitated to put his hands on me and rub my thigh or my scarred back just because he needed some physical touch at the moment. He isn't disgusted of me.
