Hi, I'm Jennie Kim
Let me take you to the story about my love life and how I ended up with someone who's surprisingly the unexpected person I would fall in love with
Lisa, are you the one?
"Hey beautiful it's for you" a man said with flowers on his hand "Love this is pretty, I really love it! I love you!" a girl said while sniffing the flowers.
I'm actually walking outside to have some fresh air and I didn't notice everyone is in pair. Some are playing with their pets. Some are having picnic, jogging, most are dating. Me, it's just me doing my walks and inhaling a good air.
I don't know if I'm jealous to them or thinking they are still young and they still need to experience a lot more in life. But somehow, I still watched them as they hug each other and walks away holding each other's hand. When could I ever feel to be loved again? Should I wait or find someone? Should I try dating again? Love? I actually forgot the definition of it. The feeling of having someone in life, I don't know. It's like I'm contented being alone. Somehow, being alone is addictive when you already find comfort to it. It's like loving yourself and giving no care on what people surrounded you. I don't need to do something because it is just me. I don't need to buy things for every birthday, I don't need to cook because someone else is hungry, no need to spend money through dates, no need to worry about getting late because no one gets mad and you don't need to explain yourself, but all for most is that no one can hurt you and break you anytime.
When was the last time I've been broken? Definitely its Jeon. It's been 5 years already since I was in a relationship. Actually, Jeon was not my last, after 3 years or being single in life I met Ryujin.
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She is the most understanding person I've ever encounter in my life to be honest. We never fought and in our relationship I'm the one who is crazy. We lasted about a year, and I was actually the one who broke up with her. I know she has a dream and I'm the one who let go because I don't want her to choose me over her dream. She needs to go somewhere, and I know to myself that I cannot bear a long-distance relationship. At first, I try, and it only lasted for four months, imagine I tried waking up or waiting until it gets 3AM because that's the time she's available despise of having work early in the morning, that time I was still trying to achieve my dreams as well. Until I confess that I cannot stand on what we have, I feel sorry to her and to myself. It's different when you're the one was left than the one who go.
The feeling of being left was actually a double kill because every places you remember her, when you do something, when you saw something it's all full of memories. I cried overnight about the decision I made but it is for me and also for her. Sometimes people who come to your life also needs to go. She's been good to me. Love and care are always present, it's just that, it's not our time. Actually, we have a circle of friends that includes her. The last time I heard about her is that she's a successful woman now same as me. We parted to grow I'll guess. I'm happy that my sacrifice did come up with good result. Aside from that, I really don't know where she is, I already cut our ties. Feelings are gone to me, but I will never forget that she's one of a kind soft-hearted person. Whenever you are, I hope you will find someone that's worth the risk to love.
