DEFIANT • kylo ren (18+)

16 - Need.

KYLO'S POV

I vividly recall that night. Daily.

It never catches me off guard. It is of use to me.

I was so overcome with anger on that evening, so that not an ounce of doubt was present in my thoughts.

Driven by the darkness.

The power had consumed me.

The death. The gruesome murder. The smell of burning flesh and crumbled ruins. None of it even so much as grazed the walls I had built to aid against the grief.

I have not paused to consider another person since that night. There is no need. It would only stray away from my path.

And, yet...

Your body is limp, cradled in my arms. You are something I've found myself increasingly considering.

I recall what it was like. Finding you there, in a small pool of your own blood, eyes wide as you try to cover the wound with your trembling hands.

Your survival instincts had kicked in, even in such a state of terror, almost blacking out from the blood loss. You are a fighter.

I quickly notice my fingers have been digging into your soft flesh. I relax them.

But my jaw clenches.

I would have killed Ushar if not for the Knights involvement. I can still sense his hands on your body, and the lingering trace of his fingers disgusts me.

I will deal with him later.

Your face is peaceful. You needed to rest, even if it is like this.

You asked me why I am helping you.

The question echoes in my mind even now, 23 minutes after I have finished your stitches.

It's true. You are incredibly useful to me. More useful than you even know. You underestimate your own power. To be able to manipulate that for myself... that energy, so close...

So close. I could reach out and brush it with my fingertips.

Just as I could with you; your lips parted ever so slightly, your cheek resting against my chest.

If I manoeuvre this situation to my benefit, I can have what my heart truly desires.

As long as you stay out of the way.

Until then, I don't know what to do with you.

I stand with you in my arms.

Sometimes I ponder if this would be what I would feel like, had I found a wounded pet and taken it in.

No.

It's more guttural than that. Like gravity, energy, or the universe pulls me toward you.

I know why. I can recognise the Force when I feel it. I would understand such raw power from thousands of lightyears away. Be drawn to it. Crave it.

Frustration creeps up the back of my neck. This is exactly why I shouldn't have fucked you. But, how could I not?

You were so... helpless. Beautiful. Yet, even completely under my control you maintained this proud strength over yourself. I am not able to crack into your mind fully, or recently, at all. I have never witnessed such incredible willpower.

I would usually take whatever I want and be done with it.

With you...

I am not certain I could ever be done with you.