DEFIANT • kylo ren (18+)

23 - There you are.

The uneasy feeling stirring inside of you is irrelevant. You've got bigger, more important plans here.

Gain their trust, destroy from the inside.

"Alright," you say through gritted teeth, "what makes you think I can find them?"

They cannot possibly know this is your home planet, let alone a bar mere streets from where you grew up.

"Just this one time, I'll never ask you again, I promise, Sunshine." Your fathers eyes lit with the nickname he always used to get his way.

'Sunshine is special, just like you.' He would say. 'Sunshine is rare.'

He'd tell you about the surface of the planet, that you'd see it one day.

That's how he'd get you to play along.

"I'll take you to see it all, after you do this one thing for me. We can go wherever you want."

"You swear it?" You swallowed the golf-ball sized lump in your throat as you looked to your father with large eyes.

"On the sun. Just this once more, and you won't need to again." His insistent nodding gave his desperation away.

The sigh that left your lips was plenty for him to know you'd do it.

"Thank you, thank you, Sunshine. 11 sharp. The usual spot. You know the one." His calloused hands pushed the small bags of drugs into yours.

He'd gotten on the wrong side of a some dangerous people and was having to use his own daughter as a drug mule.

You hated crossing the border of gang territories. You'd have eyes on you like they knew what you were doing. What you were smuggling in your bra. How uncomfortable you felt in a room full of men, and how the only relief was the mini-blaster strapped to your thigh and the dagger in your boot.

The bars were a perfect place to swap illegal substances for credits, or precious metals, or really any type of currency your father would take. The bartenders never gave a shit as long as you weren't caught, and security was a joke.

You'd heard rumours there were First Order troopers dotted around on higher levels, a scare tactic you were sure. You'd had run ins with occasional security droids, but they were easy enough to fool. Down here it was fend for yourself. Kill or be killed.

Unfortunately for you, your talents had lay in pushing drugs. This only made your father want you on more deals, and with that voice of fear begging you not to let him down - how could you say no?

You'd lure men into the backs of clubs. Tell them you'll take some of it with them. You'll do a line for them. Who knows what could happen?

Before you knew it they were handing you money and dragging you away to a private room.

It wasn't difficult after that to slip away. But the danger was always there. You knew it was. You still have nightmares about it, now. What it made you do. Who it made you hurt.

You'd promised yourself after that deal gone wrong that you'd never hurt another person again. You'd never do another drug run. You couldn't. But you also couldn't say no to him.

There was still blood on your hands as you packed your bag, tremors controlling your movements.

You left your loving father that night. Deciding for yourself that you couldn't keep doing it. Sobbing on the streets. Leaning on the broken, muddied bricks of the alleys to catch your breath.