𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏3: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞

Evans pov

We waltz up to the grocery store with Tatum, who invited herself along with us and ditched her prick of a boyfriend for the evening. The Tesco's in Woodsboro is absolute shit compared to the one back home, but I guess Sidney and Tatum seem to be enjoying themselves. As I watch them giggle at each other, and flirt with one another I feel the memories of Billiam and Jd rise back into my frontal cortex. Right now, me and Billiam are in the midst of an argument, and Jd has been nothing but nice. He's been such a gentleman, I almost feel...attracted to him. NO. i mustn't give into the homosexual agenda.

My palms began to sweat at the thought of JD and the way he protected me. How he hugged me, like we were the only ones on the planet at that moment and no one else mattered. How he comforted me with his kind words and praises , I almost found myself craving his presence. BUT I'm not a queer, I'm not one of those h..h...h..homosexuals like Dr Handinballs.I am suddenly broken out of my though when I saw Tittum shaking a bag of salt and vinegar crisps in front of my sweaty face. I was visibly disgusted, yanking the crisps from her hands I placed them back and grabbed a bag of pickled onion crisps and placed them in the trolley.

"Salt vinegar is the superior flavor yk, Evan" Tatum sighs as we roll up to the small freezer section at the back. "Personally, I think it's the roasted beef monster munch" Sidney smiles. "No offense Sid, but you have awful taste" Tatum giggles and wags her finger at Sid. Honestly, if I didn't know better, I would've thought they were girlfriends. "Do you want any ice cream Evan?" Sidney asks opening the door to the freezer, " remember I'm staying over at Tatum's later!" She smiles at her "friend" with a certain glint in her eye. I look at them confused before replying, "Yeah, I'll get some chocolate!". Tatum grimaces at my request, "Sid, pick up some mint choc chip for us please? It's on me of course!"

After saying this, Tatum pauses seemingly deep in thought. After a few seconds she practically shouts, "SHIT I wanted to grab some Dr Penis. Evan could you please go grab some Dr Penis?"As I walk past the crisps and sweets isle, I approached the soft drinks isle. As j am walking up the isle, in search of the Dr PI see a figure run by on the freezer reflection. I look behind me and see no one there, but when I look back at the freezer i can see phantomface waving at me from the reflection. I shriek in fear as I run back to the lesbians, not picking up the Dr Penis.

I scurry back like Usain Bolt on steroids. When I finally run to where the lesbians stand flirting with each other, I'm out of gas, and I nearly face plant into the floor. "Evan. I thought I asked you to get some Doctor Penis??" Tatum says in annoying tone, rolling her eyes at me and muttering something to Sidney under her breath. "Yy-you're not going to believe me-" I take a big breath in, "Ggg-hostface was there! He like chased me down". Tatum lets out a loud obnoxious shriek of a laugh that would be enough to make anybody in a 10 mile radius shit themselves in fear. "Evan be for real, just say you couldn't find it " She pats my shoulder. "It's alright, I'll go get it, I'm not afraid of some stupid dick who's in some cheap Halloween costume". And with that she struts off to the soft drinks aisle. "Sidney, y-you believe me right?" I pant like a dog in heat, trying to get my lungs filled with oxygen. "I don't know, Evan, you do have terrible anxiety and maybe-" She pauses, and squints at our reflection in the freezer door.

Ghostface was there again, this time seemingly grabbing his dick and the other hand holding a jet black glock. He was holding it, holding down on the trigger as if to appear as a threat to us. As I turn to Sidney, I can see a confused look spread across her face and she almost let's out a slight giggle."I'm probably was just seeing things", she sighed out, letting out a cheeky giggle.Due to the stress i was experiencing, I could feel a flood of sweat pour down my face. It was like there was a 99% chance of precipitation on my forehead, and it wasn't holding back.

"Sidney you're not seeing things! I saw it too!" I whine, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Sidney shakes her hand at me, "Evan, don't be silly. Even if it was something, it was probably just Jughead or Zed playing a prank on us". "No Sidney I'm sure it was actually-". "Found it~" Tatum sings out, holding the cans of Doctor Penis proudly, "See Evan, it's not that hard to be useful" She giggles. "Come on, let's heard to the till now guys" Sidney says, hurrying us along, "it's nearly the curfew for the stores". When we approach the till, a 3'11 kid with short black hair and the facial structure that makes him look like he wants to eat your eyes is the cashier.

"Hey, we'd like to pay for our items please", Sidney politely asks.The man child responds with a glare, and begins to scan our items slamming them down with a brute force. I swear I even heard by beloved pickled onion crisps crack at the impact."Hey can you like stop slamming our food down, your literally cracking our crisps and tearing our taco shells open upon impact!", Tatum lectures the small child, as he slowly places the final down after scanning and (wearing a passive aggressive look) says; "your total is $69.42"As Tatum hands over the cash, the kid sends a glare at her and she looks like she's about to explode."Why are you looking at me like that??" Tatum snarls, furrowing her eyebrows. He just looks at her blankly. "Oh, do you not know what to say? Have you not learned your abcs yet?". Something inside of him snaps and he retorts back with "Treat me like a kid I dare". Tatum exchanges a confused look with Sid and I, and then says "what, are you gonna tell your mommy?". "You will not fare well I swear". "what". He jolts forward, him and Tatum face to face. "See me then I disappear". "Uh, you're not in the kindergarten playground right now playing make believe, you're a Tesco's cashier". Tatum waves her hands around. "Portal boy I'm here and there". "You're making no sense" Tatum nearly shouts. "Time travel was a concept. Till the day I actually did it" He replies, acting like he's God or something. "Hey Tatum I think we should get going, come on-" Sidney goes to grab our receipt but the boy slams his hand down on the receipt, gatekeeping it from us. "Oh that's it you little whore" Tatum rolls up her sleeve, "You. Me. Outside. Now." "I jumped too far, instant regret. Why's the world apocalyptic?" He replies, but too late, Tatum punches him right in the jaw, sending him practically flying backwards into the flower display behind him.

"Come on queers, we have to skeddadle now", Tatum says happily, as if she didn't just 360 no-scope a child in the face. The three of us ran out of the shop, hoping not to get caught by the popo and Dewey. We headed down to Tatum's humble abode.