𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥: 𝐀 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐭 𝟏

This is based off of Muppets: A christmas carol, obviously me and rizzful rat put our own spin on it but the credits r obviously to Muppets. ps have a merry christmas to homes fans, and thx for nearly 1k reads!! Me and agenderjuuzou genuinely never thought it would get this much attention :))

Its a snowy winters day in Woodsboro, the snow covering every crevice. The shop owners are trying to sell off every last bit of stock, as it is christmas eve. A dashing young person is standing by the apple stand, crunching on one of the shiny red delights. "Hey, pass me one of those" A little rat says to the alluring stranger. "Sure" they say, taking one of the apples and throwing it at the small rat. "Thanks bro". They stand in silence, eating those scrummy red balls. "Hey, so whats your name?" the rat asks. "Marianne Dick" the attractive person says, "what about you?". The rat smiles, "My names Rizzful rat(the 2nd author". The rat giggles, "Say, are you THE Marianne Dick? as in the wonderful, amiable, appealing, rizzful, strapping young author?"

"why yes i am" they chuckle.

The rat gasps, " theres no way". "Well I am, I know the story of the christmas homele like the back of my hand" Mari Dick says charismatically. "Really? Prove it!" Rizzful rat says. Mari Dick shows them the back of their hand and says "theres a freckle under my middle finger and a-" "NO i mean tell me the story dipshit" Rizzful rat says. "oh.." Mari Dick says, "Very well then, let me tell you the story of Billiam Looge".

"William Afton was dead to begin with". "WHAT" Rizzful rat screeches. "Thats how the story begins shut the fuck up" Mari Dick says elegantly. "William Afton was dead to begin with, as dead as a doorbell". "I love it, it's kinda creepy and spooky. I'm digging the vibe tbh" Rizzful rat smirks. "Thx" "No Problem Ms Dick". "In Life, Afton had been a business partner ..with a shrewd moneylender named Billiam Looge. You will meet him as he comes around that corner" Mari Dick says. "Huh? Where? WHEN?!" Rizzful rat inquires with maximum rizz. "Right now, and there." Mari Dick points to the corner to their left. "Is it, is it just me or is it starting to get cold?" Rizzful rat shudders.

The pair turned their heads as they saw a figure indeed walking around the corner to their left. He wore a exasperated expression on his face, as his large eye bags shone as he further approached the town centre. His greasy hair shone in the sun caused by the anticyclone that placed its mark over the dim town of Woodsboro. His black top hat,with a little ribbon tied in a bow on the side, nearly slid off of his round egg head due to the abundance of grease contained in just his hair. He wore a black and white checker shirt, which wd covered by a black trenchcoat that made the shit stains belonging to the man stand out. On his legs, he wore a pair of skinny grey jeans, that clearly weren't fitting anymore and his legs needed to expand out of them. Similarly to how cities expand via urban sprawl.

 If you looked down further, you would see that he bore a pair of tall black demonias with gold chains, that for good measure were also too small for the man and were clearly meant to fit a teenager. It's a well known rumour among the town, that if you took off his fat ass demonias and revealed his bare, dirty devious grippers, that he'd lose over three inches of height.
 "Looge liked the cold, he was hard and sharp as a flint...secretive. Self-contained. As solitary as an oyster"As he slowly neared the centre of the humble town, the locals began to talk."I heard he didn't wash his ass, and only wipes on his black coat""I heard that one time, he ignored a starving orphan that was begging for food just to get by""You didn't know that he refuses to buy from the local businesses purely because he lacks that much empathy towards his fellow towns people??""He even refused to buy my £50 taffy slice at the Christmas fair, which for good measure was a perfectly expectable price. Like it costs so much cause it takes me fucking hours to make"

As they watch him saunter into his workplace, Mari Dick speaks once again. "He was a tightfisted hand at the grindstone. Looge...a squeezing, wrenching. Grasping...clutching. Covetous old sinner". Rizzful Rat and Mari DICK scamper over to the window that allows passer-by's to peer into the old, musty building. "Eugh I can't see shit" Mari Dick complains with great displeasure, throwing their hands up. "For fucks sake, man can over charge on his rotting houses but not get his windows cleaned" Rizzful rat snarls.Mari Dick picks Rizzful Rat up and uses them to clean the window, much to Rizzful Rat's dismay. "PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK". Mari Dick sits Rizzful rat down on the sill, and they peer into the cold, dim room.

 "Lin Manuel Crachitt?" Looge calls out to his most trusted employee. "Yes, Mr Looge?" Lin walks over to his desk, looking disgustingly at his pink glittery accounting books. "Let's get the eviction notices done for tomorrow" Looge says as he signs a document with his pink glittery quill. "But Sir, it's christmas tomorrow!" Lin says cheerfully. "Okay, fucking wrap them and stick a pink sparkly tescos bow on them does it look like I give a fuck??" Looge spits at Lin, slamming his fist on his table. Lin hands the documents to the rats, frowning at them. "Christmas is a busy time for us, Lin. We get to kick people out of their homes just in time for the festive season!" Looge says, patting Lin on the head(they are 4'11).
 "At that moment. who should arrive at the door..but Looge's nephew. Jd. his only living relative" "Nephew Jd? I dont see him" Rizzful Rat says, looking at the door. Suddenly an ugly ass man strides up to the door, and knocks it. 

The taller figure enters the rotting building as his adjacent uncle grants him permission to enter.
"What are you doing here, you spitball?", the older man asks."Well dear uncle, me and my lovely wife Evan are wondering if you'd like to grace us with your presence this festive season. We have a turkey with salt AND pepper, devious I know. And the kids are more than ecstatic to see their great-uncle for onc-"
"No.", the older man cut off his nephew."But you never spend time with the family, all you do is rot away in here evicting innocent citizens and stealing peoples fireplaces", the younger man spoke.Upon his words, the 4"11 ginger perked their head up. They like many others had fallen a victim to the infamous "fireplace shanker". The impact on their family had been so bad that their youngest child, tiny peen, had fallen sick with the flu and was bedridden. And to make matters worse, due to the below minimal wage that they were receiving from their cranky employer, they couldn't even afford medicine for their child.

"Very well then, you are stubborn as always" Jd says with sass, and struts out of the old building. Looge sighs "Christmas is a fucking horror show, who the fuck likes christmas??". "Uhm sir," Louis takes a step forward, the rats behind them for support. Looge raises an eyebrow and turns round. "What is it? Spit it out Crachitt". "Me and the others were wondering if we could get tomorrow off, afterall...it is christmas". Looge shakes his head in dismay. "Teeny Peen is ill, and we don't know how long he has left, I promise I'll come to work extra early on boxing day!" Lin pleads. The grumpy, annoying bitch sighs and shakes his head, "Very well then, leave right now. I can;t be arsed being here anymore. I want my beauty sleep".