love on the brain-pablo gavi

Chapter one

I look at my father. The person I only see like four times a year. It wasn't my desicion, that I was gonna live with only one of my parents, but now I can only live with one. 

It was two days ago. Two days without my mother, two days with only my father. The most confusing about my mothers dead is that nobody saw it coming. She was the one that was healthy. It should have been me. Everybody was ready for me to die, anytime. I was born with cystic fibrosis, which is basically an illness that makes my organs not work anymore. Well thats the nice explanation. The not so nice one is, that I am going to die. Well everybody is going to die so its gonna be okay. The reason I make fun of it is because its the only thing I can do about it. Right now my illness is going pretty well. No bad signals. No organs that are not working. Thats pretty well for me, but it will still never go away. I was born with it and I'm going to die with it. Its good to know that one thing in life stays.

My parents never liked eachother, and thats why I always lived with my mum. I think that the hardest thing about growing up without a dad is that you get daddy-issues. Not the issue where you like older men, like everybody on tiktok does. It the issue that you can't trust any men, not even other girls. Thats the real side of daddy issues.

Maybe you even know my dad. Hes pretty famous. Robert Lewandowski? Yeah you propably heard about him. Hes the guy that is now at FC Barcelona with all of the other rich motherfuckers. Mayber football is a reason he doesn't like me. The only good thing a teenage pregnancy can bring is a boy to a dad, but in that way I pretty much dissapointed him. He would have kept the boy. He never said it but I know that he would. He would be Robert Lewandowski Jr. And me? Nope I am not Robert Lewandowski junior. My name is Isabella. Isabella Alves. I don't even have my last name from him, so that nobody knows that I am his daughter. That didnt work out that well, because last summer some idiot posted me with my father and since then everybody knows it. But nobody really cares. They only make a big thing about it when I visit him, but that didn't happen that often.

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"So, ermmm", he says and looks at me nervous. "How do you feel?"

"You don't have to do that", I say and look away from him and out of the window. I do kinda like Barcelona. I like the weather and the beach. But I hate the people. Especially from FC Barcelona. Since Messi is not in the club anymore everybody wants to be the new best footballer. But seriously? We all know deep in ourself that Cristiano Ronaldo is the goat, and that no Lewandowski or Pedri can beat him.

"Do what?", he asks and I look back at him.

"Pretend you care". I shake my hair back and out of my face. "We both know it. Everybody knows it. I am gonna die".

"Please, Bella don't-".

"Its the truth , please don't try to make it any better. Its worse enough to loose my mum". I say and look out of the window again. I hate talking to some people, and my father is one of them. "It should have been me". I say after a while.

"What?", he asks and I look at him again.

"Everybody was ready for me to die, but I didn't. I'm alive and at the same time I am dying. Everytime, every minute I am here I could just pass out and be dead and nobody would be suprised. Its like the queen of england. If she dies, nobody would be suprised". I stop talking as I hear the scream of kids. Two girls. It kinda makes it better that I'm not the only person that dissapointed him. He has three girls and zero boys. Laura and Klara are only two and five, I think. I was never good in remembering ages but I'm the best in birthdates. I never forget a single one.

I see Anna walking in the kitchen over to Robert and kissing him softly on the lips. I never liked her. Don't ask me why, but I thinks its because she fucks my dad. But who knows..

I look out of the window again. I love this view. The house is pretty high on a hill and from here you can see all the other houses and even the sea. The wall in the kitchen is a big window, but thankfully you can only look outside and not inside. It would not be so nice to have people stare at you like crazy.

"Bella, how are you doing", Anna asks as she sits next to Robert.

"Good", I say without looking away from the window. You could not overhear the sarcasm in my voice.

"Bella", Robert warns me and I look over to him. "She was just being nice, so be nice too".

"I'm always nice", I say. I could have laughed at my lie, because it was so bad.

"No", he says with amusement in his voice.

"Okay then no", I say pissed and look out of the window again.

"Hey, be respectful to us". Respectful? Well okay MAYBE to him but never to Anna. She doesn't like me so why should I like her?

I let out a small laugh. "Respectful? Say that to your speaking dog". It was clear that I mean Anna with that. So you probably know how it looks like when an atom bomb explodes. I think the same is happening to Robert at the moment. He looks like he is going to cry and scream in the same moment.

"Up to your room now", he says with a warning one, but he doesn't scream. I smile slowly. Even though I'M already dying I always push people to their temper, so that their are so angry that they could kill me.

"Now!", he screams loudly, so that the voices of the kids stop playing in the background.

"Why? I was saying the truth. Right Anna?", I spit out her name and still smile a little bit.

"You are so dead", Robert says and he gets up and in the same moment I also get up from my chair and walk a few slow steps away.

"Thats funny. You know why? Because I'm actually dying and YOU are only making me wish I was already dead". With that I leave the kitchen and walk through the long hallway to my room.

I never cared being hated on. I never really cared about anything in my life. I never did and I never will. Thats what my mother always told me. Don't trust anybody. Especially no men and don't you dare listen to them and what they say.

When you think about it, its not my fault I'm like that. Like myself. And thats means that I'm just right.

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Next chapter coming todayy!!I try to write a lotttttt