love on the brain-pablo gavi

Chapter thirteen

After two days my legs still get shakey when I think about this night. It got so bad, that everytime I'm in a dark room or I turn my head to the right, I think about him. Thats bad, that is very bad. I have to stop thinking about it. God that makes me crazy. 

 I just have to forget about it and concentrate on other things. 

Like maybe my real problems that I have and I have enough of them. I should cry right now, about my mothers death or about my death, but I can't. When I would cry right now, I would look like my sisters when they don't get something they want. They don't really cry, but they could start any second. 

I put my blanket over my head, so that I stop to think about it and maybe sleep again, but I'm interrupted by  knock on my door. 

"Yes?", I say and put the blanket away from my head. Robert enters my room and closes the door behind him. For a few seconds he just stands in my room and looks out of my window, but then he stops and looks over to me. 

"Joan invited me to a dinner today. Apparently he liked you and said that you are also invited". Who the hell is Joan? Was he the man I stood next to for like thirty minutes? 

"Yeah, okay", I say confused. It was hell to be at this event, but this time I don't need to stand for thirty minutes. Its a dinner, so everything is gonna be chill. 

"Be ready at six", he says, turns around and closes the door again. I let myself fall back in the bed again and groan out loud. 

Okay I said I will go, so I'm going. I don't care what excuses I could make up, its just a dinner and I'm gonna make the best out of it. Well I'm gonna try. 

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Yesterday was much easier to get ready. I had a dress and I knew that me and one other person liked it. 

I have a pretty big choice of what I could wear, but most of the dresses I don't like. Some of them don't fit me and some are, like Pedri would say it, too slutty. I would rather wear something thats too slutty, than too ugly. I finally found a dress, that has long wide sleeves, a hearth cutout and is completly black. The silk reaches down to my middle tight, so its basically the perfect lenght. 

I decided to give my changing room a break and start with my hair and makeup, before I would despair without something to wear. 

I take my phone with me, to search for inspiration on pinterest, but I still do my normal look. 

After some time, when I'm finally finished and satisfied with how I look, I open my phone and take some pictures. Because some of them look very good, I post them on instagram with a black hearth and a star as the caption. 

With a smile on my face I read the comments on my last post and apperantly the people from tiktok started to stalk my insta. I see comments that are way too nice and comments that have nothing to do with the realitly. But I like them anyways. 

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We didn't say a word for the whole ride. Its clear he doesn't want me here and its also clear, that he is scared, that I will ruin it. I said to myself, that I'm gonna be nice and talk with the people that start a conversation with me, otherwise I would have to ignore them and be quiet the whole night. 

The restaurant looks like the house from yesterday. The only differnce is, that the light is dimmed and not that bright like yesterday. 

I stay by Roberts side, as he greets some people and walks over to a table. Some people sit on the table, that I don't know, but the man named Joan also sits there. He gets up when he sees us.