eighteen

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Jake and Sunghoon entered their apartment in silence that was unfamiliar for both of them. Jake was afraid not knowing what he did to make him silence. He was afraid that he disappointed Sunghoon in anyway. He stood in living room as Sunghoon went their room.


Jake silently stood still there, lowering his head even when Sunghoon finished showering. Sunghoon came outside the room when he saw Jake standing there.

"Why are you still standing here?" Sunghoon asked as Jake shook his head, "Did something happen?" Sunghoon came towards the older.


"Did I do something?" Jake let out his trembling voice.

"No, why?" Sunghoon held Jake's hand.

"Y-you were silence the whole way and even now you didn't talk to me neither you looked at me, you just straight up went inside the room. Did I do something to disappoint you?" Jake finally matched his teary eyes with Sunghoon's shocked eyes, "If there is something, I am sorry. I am really sorry for everything. Don't leave me." Jake let out a small sob.


"Nothing, you did nothing. I was just lost in my thoughts." Sunghoon pulled Jake in a hug, "I am sorry I made feel you neglected. I am really sorry. And I am not leaving you."


"Really?" Jake pulled out of a hug.

"Umm really." Sunghoon smiled. Jake finally smiled pulling younger in a hug.


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"What should we have for dinner?" Sunghoon said to the zoned out Jake sitting in the couch, "Should we get it delivered? or you want to cook it by ourself?" Sunghoon glanced at the older who was still zoned out. 

"Ikeuu." Sunghoon nudged Jake who flinched, "Why are you zoned out?"


"S-sunghoon-ah." Jake stuttered.


"Hmm?" Sunghoon turned completely towards him holding his hand which was pulled away by the older making him frown.

"Why? Did something happen?" Sunghoon looked at older worriedly.


"Don't be so nice to me..." Jake lowered his gaze, "To be honest, it scares me... to have someone who protects me and having a protector makes me wanna be dependent and I am worried it will make me weaker."

Sunghoon was surprised at the sudden outburst of older, his heart churned in pain. He was about to say something but Jake cut him off.


"You guys love me, protect me and I have nothing to offer you guys back. I am not even pretty, I am broken, filled with these bruises. And in the end I am the one who always recieves. W-what if you guys get tired of giving only and leave me. I am not used to being this loved. And after all these years I finally learned how it feels to be loved and if I get used to it then I won't bare losing it. I won't stand losing you, Jay and Jungwon." Jake was now sobbing.



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