LET ME LOVE YOU

Chapter 50 - new beginnings

Aya

2 tablespoons of instant coffee, 1 tablespoon of sugar, some hot boiling water, and The fresh smell of the strong beverage soon wafted through the entire kitchen, that smell being the only thing that separated day and night for me.

For the first time ever, I understood the attraction of coffee perfectly. If you have been up all night, escaping from your own thoughts or fighting through your mixed, confusing feelings, or both, coffee is the perfect beverage to set you back to normal, even if it was for a little while.

It's a lot more than just a drink; it's something happening, like a place to be, but not a location, just like....somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, it just gives you a chance to be.

"Where should I put the rest of the pasta, Mrs?" Asked Nengi, as she slowly got down from the kitchen ladder with half a pack of fusilli pasta in her hands.

We were cleaning, rearranging and restocking the pantry as it was desperately in need of that after such a long time of me being away, and at the same time, I was trying to think of what to make as lunch for 4 people while making breakfast for this...sick person. Stressing over what to make was so unlike me. Cooking was never a problem, I used to have like hundreds of ideas the moment I opened my eyes, but now, it was like I didn't even know anything about the kitchen. Cooking didn't bring me the happiness and peace it used to anymore, if anything, it felt like a chore I was forced to do under circumstances beyond my control, which honestly is the truth.

Hafeez got discharged from the hospital 2 days ago, and of course, we were back home, or rather, he was, not me. It doesn't matter how big or luxurious that house was, It could never be my space to call a home. I felt like an animal in a zoo; forcefully captured for the entertainment of people who don't give a shit about me while my poor heart yearned and begged for freedom. I felt like a prisoner that was being punished for a crime I did not commit. I felt so alone, and that loneliness was really starting to suffocate me. I craved to scream, shout and just...run as far away as I could and go to a place where I wouldn't have to be surrounded by all of this mess, but I couldn't, at least not at that point, as much as it pained me, I had no choice but to stay and act like I was okay for a little while longer.

So I took another sip of my coffee as an attempt to suppress the tightness in my chest before turning to Nengi with a neutral expression on my face "just mix it with the rigatoni, it won't make any difference"

She replied with a quick okay while I got back to the soup I was making. The doctor emphasized on feeding him protein rich food, fruits, vegetables and making sure he stays hydrated, so that's exactly what I was doing. I made a hot bowl of chicken soup and fresh mango juice to go with it. And just as I was about to set the meal on a tray and take it to the penthouse, my second source of headache walked into the kitchen.

"are you planning to starve me today Wai?" Was the first thing she said as she stood in front of me, folding her hands over her chest "where's my breakfast?"

"Didn't you see the dining table before you came here?"

"I did, that's why I'd like to think you're not expecting me to eat that rubbish," she replied, hissing afterwards "even at home nobody has ever dared to feed me French fries, so you won't be the first person, and besides, I told you I wanted a chicken sandwich"

I just let out a short laugh in response because I can never take that one seriously. Same person that gave me a lecture about being a vegetarian just months ago was now demanding for a chicken sandwich. Which vegetarian dey chop chicken for this earth?