The room was dark and reeked, like someone had forgotten to open the window for a week, with empty dishes and food was scattered everywhere. If anyone walks into the room, they'd be sure no one lived here. If the looked closer, they'd see a lifeless body under the thick blankets, moving slightly when the person had to breathe.
It had been a week, maybe longer since you went outside or had taken care of yourself, mentally and physically.
Your hair was a mess. It had gotten to the point the knots would be hard to untangle
Your clothes had lots of stains on them, from food you ordered the last few days.
You were too tired to be yourself or the persona you put on; so people wouldn't question your sorrow.
At that moment, you didn't care about the dry tear stains, leaving a sticky feeling and red, puffy eyes to remind her of what she'd been doing, instead of going to work. Your body was tired, laying on your side, holding your phone and staring at the screen.
Even though you were on your phone, you didn't reply to any texts you'd gotten. You really wanted to pick the phone up, call her friends or text them back, but showing emotions was hard for you. Whenever you thought of it, you gripped the blanket in your fist. You tried so hard not to be like this, but there were times you didn't succeed.
You guessed it could've been worse. At least you had some motivation to call your boss and make sure you wouldn't be fired. That was a success. Even ordering food was difficult, considering you never finished the food.
Your body was fighting whenever you wanted to get up to open the door for the delivery guy. Your limbs ached and you didn't know if it was from lack of moving or the pain radiating in your body. You were familiar to having bad days, you just never got used to them. It was easy to put on an act but sometimes, it gets hard to fake things.
You couldn't get anything done and when the doorbell rang, you stayed in bed, under your blanket to keep warm. For a second, you thought of who it might be but figured it wasn't important if they didn't ring twice. Too in your own world, you didn't hear the door open and footstep coming towards you. In different circumstances, you would've been terrified and hid in the bathroom or something, or hit the intruder if you had to defend yourself. Maybe if you kept your cool, you wouldn't be in this state of mind.
Maybe the one person in your life, Matt, who was looking through your apartment until he stepped into the smelly, dark, depressing room. His eyes softened when he saw you inside the big fluffy blanket, not knowing if you were crying or if you needed fresh air. His heart broke looking at you in this state and he forgot about the mess around him when all he wanted to do was hold you and never let go. But he needed to know what was going on with you first.
He knew something was off but he never imagined how bad the situation actually was. He wondered if he'd catch her falling asleep or crying for no reason, but he thought it might have been nothing, until you started ignoring everyone. That's when he got worried and he felt guilty because he should've noticed it, right?
"Babe?" He called to you, his voice barely a whisper, like he begged you to open the blanket and let him comfort you. But you didn't flinch, you just closed your eyes. His heart broke more. "Baby, hey" He sat next to you. "Can I see you, please?" Matt wasn't sure if that would work. You shook your head.
"Leave me alone" you croaked, realising you didn't get enough water in your system. Maybe that's why your voice was pained. Matt was torn on what to do next.
Matt was frustrated as he gripped his hair and pulled on it softly, feeling pain in his body. He knew it was nothing compared to your pain. He didn't know what to do. He never witnessed your usual happy self in this state of mind. It was like you died and lost your sparkle. He didn't blame you for hiding your feelings, he was blaming himself for not noticing.
