Red Silver

S1.C3 - A hill near Imola

In the last two weeks life felt unreal. I worked harder than ever, home race is so stressful for the team and for the drivers. And then there is Lewis, we texted each other nearly every day, he also called sometimes. He's a nice friend and this... thing is helping me keeping my head straight in these awful weeks. I can't meet him before the race weekend but I promise him we will eat a pizza before he leaves the country. Vegan pizza, I remember myself, he's a strange athlete.
I take my MacBook and walk till the bus stop, it's raining but I still don't have a car here so that's the only way.
"Hey"
A Ferrari, red Ferrari stops at the bus stop, Carlos.
"Ti serve un passaggio? Penso andiamo nello stesso posto" he smiles. [Need a ride? I think we are going in the same place]
"Oh dio grazie Carlos" [Oh god, thanks Carlos]
I get into the car and we go straight to the Ferrari factory. When we get there, we both go up to the offices and find the whole team ready to begin. The day is Tuesday, tomorrow everyone will be in Imola ready for the weekend.

The press day at Imola is not an easy this time, lots of people are around the hospitality also on Thursday and I can't work there so I walk to the garage to find some peace.
"Hey" Lewis is standing near his garage.
"Hi, aren't you supposed to be in the TV Pen?"
He smiles "probably"
I smile and I look around.
"No one is here, they are all working or doing some kind of press stuffs. Why are you here?"
"Too much people" I show him my MacBook "I work better here"

Angela pops up from behind and I jump scared.
Lewis looks calm "don't worry" he whispers to me.
"Oh, hi, you must be Isabelle"
"Yes... how?"
"Oh I was the one who asked for your phone number, I was a bit confused I thought you were French"
"Oh no no, 100% Italian my mum likes French names though" I look to Lewis "I've always wondered how you got my number"
He smiles "I've got my secrets, well not anymore"
"Well I'm here for this one" she points at Lewis "you have an interview"
"Ok so bye Sir" I say and walk away, knowing damn well that he hates when I call him Sir.

Quali are a disaster, Carlos make it to Q3 but can't get anything higher than P10 as he had a crash in Q2. The mechanics, are going to work hard tonight, tomorrow there is the sprint and we need to have a brand new car.
"Sorry" that's all Carlos said after the crash, when he comes back to the garage I hug him, "Gracias" he whispers and then he run to the interviews he still have to do.

I don't sleep that night, I work, work and work, in the morning I'm back on the track really early and walking around I see Lewis, I smile and he does the same or I imagine he does as a big red Ferrari shirt comes in front of me.
"Un bel sorriso non ti salva dalle occhiaie, non sarai davanti ai riflettori ma vedi di venire a lavoro con una faccia migliore la prossima volta" [A nice smile doesn't make your dark circles dissapear, you may not be in front of the cameras all day but next time come with a better face at work]
"Ho lavorato fino a..." [I worked til...]
"Non mi interessa, non dobbiamo fare brutta figura, soprattutto alla gara di casa, che poi se lavoraste meglio forse Carlos non sarebbe P10" [I don't care, we don't have to look bad, especially at our home race, and if you were working so hard maybe Carlos wouldn't be P10]
I nod and I go away to the engineers' office to hide from the cameras and work in peace.

L-Are you ok?-
Why is he texting me now? We have a deal, no text at work. Oh God, he must have seen the scene in the paddock. Another text.
L-Isabelle...-
I-Yes, I'm fine, really don't worry, not the first time and it'll not be the last my boss yells at me :) Good luck for today-
L-Good luck to you too- I smile and close the phone.
I know damn well his day will be a nightmare as mine, Imola is not being nice with the Mercedes car and not even to car n°55, it seems.

Carlos does an amazing job and he got P4 for tomorrow, but Lewis... P14. I try not to text him, I know he wants to focus on his job so I try not to send him anything, but when I see him in the paddock while I'm leaving I can say he is not in a good mood, he doesn't even see me.

Sunday, the race day.
DNF. Again, DNF. In front of a red crowd.
I scream "Fuck Ricciardo" without even realising it and my colleagues laugh with sad eyes. Race incident, I know, but 2 DNF in a row, it's a curse.
Carlos this time is not even coming to the garage, he goes straight to his room and he re-appeares with his headphones on and sit in silence near us, his team, watching the rest of the race.
The race is shit, even Charles make a mistake that costs him the podium, the garage is in the worst mood ever and I am even in a even worse mood if it is possible, Lewis had a horrible race, the car is really not working on this track. P13 and plus 1 lap.
I go to the hotel as soon as I can, I just want to pack my things and leave this place.

Knock knock.
Someone is at the door, I open "Senti non ho voglia di..." [Listen, I don't want to...]
Lewis. He doesn't even say anything, he just hugs me and I hug him back even tighter.
"We had a bad day" he says.
"A nightmare"
His eyes are tired and he has this sad gaze. "I'm sorry if I came here without telling you but..."
"I'm happy you are here" we smile at each other, did I really say it out loud?
"Have you eaten?" He asks watching my luggage on the bed.
"No... I, well it's a bad habit, but I usually don't eat after a day like this"
"Isa.."
"I know I know, I'll try tonight, pizza as promised?"
"My car is 5 minutes from here so wait for me and I'll be here in 10"
"I need to change"
"No no, I'm wearing a jumpsuit too, you don't need"
I watch his Balenciaga jumpsuit and then my Primark joggers and my working Ferrari T-shirt "I don't think it's the same thing"
He laughs "No, it's perfect"

We go to a pizzeria that does vegan pizza and order to take away, we eat in the car in a parking lot, talking about everything except the race.
"I love Italian pizza" he says eating his last slice.
"Of course, best food in the world" I smile.
"Will you be in Miami next GP?" He asks knowing the answer.
"Yes, why?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to know. If I have another race like this one, I want to know we will have pizza in the car after"
I laugh "It'll be a pleasure, Sir"

We stayed in silence for a couple of minutes.
"This is so good, I haven't feel like this in a while" he says.
"Same, but I actually never felt like this so it's a bit strange?" I can see a sparkle in his eyes, damn he is so handsome, no, no, don't think about him in that way "Mh, start the car, I'll show you a place" I say looking away.
He smiles and starts the engine.

After 15 minutes we are in my favourite hill near Imola, we can see the beautiful landscape lights up by the night lights.
"We don't have just amazing food" I say
"I love Italy, but it doesn't love me back so I don't spend a lot of time here" he laughs.
"Why do you think we don't like you" I ask "Because you are not Schumi? Yeah average Italian fans scares me"
He laughs. I love when he laughs. Stop it Isabelle.

I don't know how it happens, I really have no clue but in a moment his hands are on my face and we are kissing.
Fuck. I can't do this. I look at him  "I...it's not right"
"Why does it feel right then?" He whispers. It does, it feels right and good, it feels so good.
I look at him, his dark brown eyes are looking right into mine and without thinking I kiss him again, this time his hands are on my waist pulling me closer and mines are around his neck. I can feel his body tensing on mine, his perfume...
"I need to go back to the hotel" I say scared o what I have just done, scared of how I am feeling.
"Sure" he smiles and we go back to the car.

When we arrive at the hotel he gives me his hoodie to cover my Ferrari shirt.
"Can't wait to see you again" he says while touching gently my cheek.
"Goodnight Lewis" I kiss him and I get off the car.

This is going to take me down, really down, but why does it feel so good then? Why can't I wait to kiss him again? Those damn eyes and his perfume...
I fall asleep with his jumper over my pyjama, it smells like him.